Toilet Graveyard
Found On: San Antonio Craigslist
By: James L
Free, off white/grey toilets. a little dirty but not damaged. must pick up. e-mail for location or questions.
You know what the world needs more of, besides love? Anthropomorphized toilets. Preferably in dramatic situations. We live to serve.
“Don’t give up. DON’T YOU GIVE UP! We’re gonna make it. No doubt in my mind. Just. Hold. On. Sure, they left us here to die. They thought they’d never see us again. But we’ll show them. Oh yes, we will. We will EXPLODE upon them. They will know our vengeance. They will FEEL our vengeance. They can leave us behind. Beaten. Disabled. But that will work to our advantage. They will never expect the horror we will make them see, once we get out of here. I’ll tell you what, it would really help to be ambulatory right now.”
Okay… by ‘a little dirty’ do you mean soiled or do you mean SOILED?
(No worries, doubtless the Sheikh just kicked these to the kerb when the 24-karat customs rolled in. I’m sure they’re fine and perfectly suited for your nether regions. Enjoy!)
Google image results for “Toilet Planter” and you will see something like 79,000 results. A lot of people find the toilet to be hilarious as lawn art. Why stop with one or two when you could own a whole menagerie of them (like your neighbor with his flock of flamingos)?
I say this is just talent hidden away temporarily, waiting to bloom in someone’s yard.
Need an anthropomorphized toilet? I remember the port-a-potties at one Taste of Chicago had ads for “Toilet: The Novel” about a sentient toilet with feelings, supposedly in the vein of Kafka. Sound horrible? It was self-published making it almost certainly worse than horrible!
If these old toilets have a larger flush than the current legal limits allow, there might be an actual demand for them. Just sayin’.
Perfect for your toilet collection.
Hey, if they’re old style with lots of water per flush, they’re worth every penny.
I have actually picked up a old dirty toilet given to me out of someone’s backyard, cleaned it up, and installed it in a friend’s home.
I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but in the context of this post it does seem a little nasty.
All I can say is: new toilets are expensive! If your toilet is broken and you’re short on cash, sometimes an old, free toilet is better than no toilet at all. It happens.
Many old toilets clean up rather nicely. If it isn’t cracked, there is no reason to throw it away.
I hope a “little dirty” doesn’t mean a little popper?
I agree with the above posters!
New toilets are terrible! They are designed to save water, but when it takes 2+ flushes (and often times a plunger) to get the stuff down…
I would PAY to take a working 10+ year old toilet to replace the crappy (new) crapper I have at home.
I have to agree with JD and Fluffy. Toilets these days are junk. My toilets at home will clog from poop alone. It’s like they get nervous when they see the raveled up paper coming next and they get choked up over the whole ordeal. I hate it. I know I don’t take dinosaur dumps so wtf? Toilet standards have really gone down over the years which doesn’t make sense. Americans eat more these days than before so why can’t they have a toilet to accommodate them?