Middle Earth Map
Found On: SF Bay Craigslist By: SJ
Handpainted Middle Earth map on papier mache boot, circa 1979. I’d like this to go to a teacher or someone who will use it for educational purposes, perhaps a library or non-profit that encourages reading.
You get the feeling this poster tried to sell this for two or three years, and can’t *believe* no one has bought it. He’s swallowed his pride, and realized, “OK, I have to give it away. But dammit, only to a worthy group! A trusty steward of my precious ‘handpainted Middle Earth on papier mache boot.’ God I wish the home would let me keep it. It was only scaring the other patients a little.” Let’s break it down:
Handpainted
So it has value as an artifact, a lovingly crafted product of human ingenuity. Pains were taken, etc. A strange object of human effort, but OK.
Middle Earth
Because it’s the best Earth.
map
Thank heavens. I wouldn’t want Elijah Wood getting lost.
on papier mache boot
Because where else are you going to paint your map of middle earth?!
circa 1979
A vintage piece. The political boundaries on this map of Middle Earth may no longer be accurate. Yes, Mordor is still a Red State.
I’d like this to go to a teacher
Of imaginary geography?
or someone who will use it for educational purposes, perhaps a library or non-profit that encourages reading.
If you don’t keep reading, I’m sending you to the corner, with the boot. Again.
Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense
If they just had the matching one with a map of the lost city of Atlantis, I would be right over…
That is so bloody strange.
Did we even KNOW about middle earth in 79′? If so, why did I only find out about it in the past few years?
@Budgyrl
Most likely because you live under a rock. The books are >50 years old.
You should go to your local library and check out the boot. It has a map that will guide you to JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy, published in the mid-1950s.
Ooo the claws have come out here on itemnotasdescribed. Those Tolkien fans are a surly lot.
@GinsuVictim
See? The Boot of Awesomeness is already doing its job as an educational device.
I’d like to take this bad boy on Antiques Roadshow and watch those stuffy old appraisers try to keep a straight face:
“Well, if you had the matching boot, at auction we’re looking at about…I’m sorry. I can’t lie. This is…sorry…I’m not laughing at you. It’s just…where did you FIND this thing?!?”
One boot to rule them all…
(I cried with laughter at this.)
@Laura
HILLARIOUS!
I, too actually cried.
“Teacher…of imaginary geography”.
ROTFL
I’m not at all a Tolkien fan, but I find this artifact strangely charming. Yes, it’s utterly useless and without function, but is clearly a labor of love.
OMG, one of the funniest things I’ve seen in ages. (And the non-reading, lives in a cave numbnuttery of Budgyrl added extra flavour).
funniest post ever!
Forgot to include “I am currently working on the other boot.”
I must have this boot! I have a friend who collects all thing hideous!
OMG, as if the commentary wasn’t funny enough, to see it referred to as an “artifact” just about did me in. LOL.
Ha! Funniest thing I ever saw, you people are genius.
But WHO GOT THE BOOT? Where is it now?
This is the kind of thing that I would by for my husband as a gag gift, mainly because I would need to prove its existence to him.
OMG The boot is perfect, I can add it to my altar of everything to do with J.R.R. Tolkien. Uhm, now you must excuse me while I go pray to the alter.
OMG – I just laughed so hard that I couldn’t make any noise (except the occasional obnoxiously loud WHOOP!!!) and I had tears pouring down my face. Too bad I’m looking at this at my boyfriend’s place of business. I think I may have peed a little.
This needs to be referred to the Museum of Bad Art.
And that my lord is how we know the world to be boot shaped.
This new learning fascinates me. Tell me again how sheep’s bladders can be used to prevent earthquakes.
Tolkien fans surly? Not usually, but i’m assuming it’s the intense draw of the ‘boot of power’, forged by Elvis on Mount Loom… It turns men on their own kind (and inundates rivendell cragslist no end…)… i’ll shut up now