Veteran’s Bed
July 30th, 2009
Found On: CNJ Craigslist By: Colleen
First come first serve. Very comfortable. You have to do all the hauling, I live on the second floor, so bring help. I hurt my back years ago serving my country.
OK, you served your country, we thank you. But that means I have to take out your most repulsive refuse? Isn’t there an agency for that? You know – good old garbage collection? I see this and wonder: can someone offering for free the corpse of the family dog be far behind? I mean, if I’m gonna take this mattress, I may as well use the dog as a pillow.
But it’s comfortable…
Spelling the word ‘veteran’ fail.
@Eric
Pretty sure we got it that way, and we like to take ‘em (usually) as we see ‘em.
I was browsing the archives and I think there needs to be a “mattress” tag. A lot of people would like to give away their broken disgusting mattresses to a good home, and we should have a good way to group them all together.
Wow is that freakin gross- and doubly freakin hilarious
@Nupanick Would I go to jail if I were to cut off the mattress tag?
The mattress tag warning is intended for the retailer – anyone else can tear it off. It’s a garfield-fueled misconception, read the whole warning sometime: This Thing Is Flammable, Retailers – don’t tear this tag off, people gotta know!
As for haulage, he’s on the second floor: it’s called gravity. Kick a crude ramp up to the window or balcony or front door, kick the mattress outside, kick it off the edge, voila.
And you never know what someone will have a use for; I’m keeping my eyes peeled for a broken Nintendo Power Glove and a broken pair of 3D Glasses for various art projects. A skanky mattress might be a great kludge springboard, if you’ve already got a sheet of plywood to lay on top to protect against flying springs; layer a bunch of them with plywood inbetween, lashed together with twine anchored to the boxsprings, and who knows what you could do…
Looks like he served his country on that mattress. Are those burns or stains?
Hopefully those are scorch marks on that mattress and not…
…ew.
um why don’t you cut the loyal-service crap. You hurt your back years ago by hauling this POS mattress out of some alley where the original owner had tossed it after hurting their back on the lousy springs of this forty-dollar bargain.
It looks like people have died on this thing. Probably massive blood loss from the bed bug bites.
I wonder if its the mattress putting itself on Craigslist and trying to find a better home.
Warning: Mattress comes with antique cube puzzle. May cause you to lose your skin.
@ Tyhm: Looks like you could be the proud new owner!!
Veteran’s Bed sounds like an STD.
hilarious
[...] getting your own bedroom. Not quite watertight, but it don’t rain most days. Don’t forget yer bed, and your stuffed animal. If it gets cold, here’s some matches, just light the south wall. Yeah, [...]
“served my country”?
Notice he doesn’t mention which country, or in what capacity?
I suppose working in the post office in Budapest in serving one (Hungarian)’s country