Amish Mannequins
Found On: New Haven Craigslist By: Jen U
This item is used and considered an antique. I do not know its actual age. There is some wearing and slight damage but considering its age, it seems in pretty good condition for what it is. It has always been kept inside in the winter months and only displayed in the summer months. This is a full size horse drawn carriage with a fold down top and shafts. It has a full size horse with all harness and reins, and there are three mannequins that come with it. An amish man, a women, and a child. There are several outfits for the mannequins, (see pics). THIS ITEM HAS TO BE PICKED UP! I do not deliver! All together it makes a beautiful yard display! It will surly be the talk of your town!
The talk of our town? I can hear it now – “Since they went and got those mannequins, no one in the neighborhood has been able to sell. Property values have fallen 15%, minimum. That on top of the housing collapse. Who has a torch?”
In the interests of full disclosure, this isn’t free. The poster wants $10,000 for it.
Take a second. Digest it.
As we see it, that only adds to the hilarity. I mean, sure, I like the idea of a scarecrow-type device to keep various religious solicitors away from the front door, but I think I’d rather just spend a few seconds saying “no thanks” to the new issue of Watchtower, than spend that kind of money to get the job done.
And besides, we don’t really want the Ericsons across the street to put up an even larger contingent of Mennonite mannequins. They’re always competing with us.
Man, I was really hoping that they’d be free. But just think how awesome they’d be on Halloween! Outfit each with red LED eyes, if you’re cheap…
…or hollow them out and make them animatronic!
“Did that thing just move?”
Oh, man, that would be totally awesome. Just a touch of animitronics, say, at the neck line to slowly watch you walk across the lawn would nice and creepy.
You know, the guy from Crazy Emails–with the lawn chair towers–should look into getting this, or maybe at least renting it. If his next-door neighbor wigged out over the guy having two lawnchairs in front of his house, this setup would certainly make the nutcase move!
he totally said “full size horse”, as if it was a real horse. or like that was a perk.
I don’t think these are so bad. I wouldn’t pay $10,000. But it shouldn’t be on INAD among piles of rocks, fallen down trees, or rusty dumpsters that people want picked up so they don’t have to deal with it.
@caveman
How much would you pay for it? I’m sure they’re considering all reasonable offers.
what I want to know is if anyone bought these “antiques”…it’s a souped-up creepy version of those ducks that people dress up and display in their yards. Maybe I’m just not creative, but with 10,000 smackeroos I’d install a nice pond with fish in my yard.
I say you should buy it just for the awesome life-sized “Planet of the Apes” figure.
Oh, wait, that’s the Amish father? Never mind.
A-Mazing! I would so totally have to open an Amish put-put golf if I had these! Love it.
Awesome
I can just imagine an Amish family going down the road and seeing this.
I’d love to have this… I would probably take it to the reservation and set it on fire next to the road.
Yeah, the great thing is, the Amish have that whole thing about not making graven images, so they don’t do photographs and the dolls they make don’t have faces, etc… so I would imagine this would sort of insult/offend at least a few actual living, breathing Amish folk, but who knows?
I was interested in this until I realized they were Amish. I’m really looking for a display of Catholics for my lawn. And I was totally prepared to spend $10,000. Darn, I guess I’ll just keep looking.
Creepy beyond all reason?
Hell yes! I’d be so scared of them standing in my yard…since I have this thing with all kinds of mannequins/puppets whatever,they scare me to death…
I’m liking the animatronic idea. Have papa read passages from the Bible, Abe Lincoln-style.
http://www.mapquest.com/maps?city=Wallingford&state=CT&address=S+Elm+Street+%26+Pond+Hill+Road&zipcode=06492
you can see them at the corner of S Elm ST and Pond Hill Road in Wallingford CT….one day they are going to dig up the backyard and find a lot of missing persons…their halloween display goes past festive right into creepy and not in the “creepy -I love halloween way” either
@Jessica
I would give $100 for the pony.
Being a resident of the wonderful town of Wallingford, I can actually say that this person’s lawn decorations really ARE the “talk of the town.” And by that, I do mean everyone talks about them. Mostly how the owners must be insane, how creepy the mannequins are, etc. Every Halloween and Christmas, the owners fill their yard with all sorts of blow-up lighted holiday things. The kicker? They have a sign on the front of their lawn that INVITES PEOPLE IN TO TAKE PICTURES OF THEIR GIANT LAWN FULL OF CRAP. I really, honestly wish I was kidding.
The funny thing about that is that those look like normal department store mannequins dressed up as Amish folk. Pretty sure that one “mother” mannequin is made to look like it is wearing more make-up than the entire Amish community put together.
I think they want the outlandish sum because it appears the buggy is real. If it’s even close to operational, there are a lot of horse owners who would probably pay a princely sum because you just can’t find nice wagons/buggies/sleighs/surreys. Unfortunately, you’d have to take the awful mannequins, but hey, they DO have extra outfits, right?
Actually you can find mint condition amish buggies fairly easily — you can even find them on Ebay. The buggies sell for $1000-$2000.
I had a similar set-up but I got rid of it. Every morning when I looked out the window, I noticed that the innocent-looking child would be facing my house and had moved a couple of feet closer during the night.
The scary thing is, I think my in-laws would probably actually use these. “Oooh. Wouldn’t that be neat?” they’d say. [shudder]
I love the Halloween idea. If I had $10k to spare, I’d be all over that.
I’m surprised no one mentioned the use of the word “surly.” That was beautiful.
@dan
I think you can see the horse (south of the tree) in this Google shot.
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=S.+Elm+St.+and+Pond+Hill+Rd.+Wallingford,+ct&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=37.546691,68.466797&ie=UTF8&ll=41.438397,-72.825016&spn=0.001086,0.002089&t=h&z=19
@dpup77
I kept the Jehovah’s Witnesses from last summer.
Now if I could adopt them and take them as a dependent I would be interested.
@Pseudo3D
you see those greener patches of grass? thats where the bodies are buried
And what are the extra outfits like? Despite the enormous potential for humor, I doubt they’re at all entertaining.
Amish milf looks just a tad bit too sexy to be a REAL Amish, I’m thinking she’s a fake Amish mannequin.
My old neighbor has a yard full of crap like this. There’s a mannequin standing next to a horse trailer, about to open the door. There’s fake deer everywhere. She even has a fake horse in her pasture, that she moves around. Sometimes it’s in the wash rack (being bathed by a mannequin) and sometimes it’s in the hot walker. Sometimes, she even puts blankets on it when it’s cold, or fly sheets when it’s summer. She has fake dogs and ducks. She has mannequins that sit around a patio table.
She’s so incredibly popular with her neighbors. I wish I could send you a pic, but I don’t live there anymore.
…
If I had 10,000k, I’d use it to put REAL Amish people in my yard, and not be nearly as creeped out by them.
Haha, I meant 10k.
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Do they have ones that are posed for abusing dogs and running puppy mills? Now that would be genuine.
this looks like 5th grade field trip meets some siberian dude’s fetish
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