Spooky Chair
Found On: Des Moines Craigslist By: Amber J
Hospital chair on wheels.
“Gramma, I’m sorry, but we couldn’t afford a better one. We were able to find this free, and hope it gets you around OK.”
“I don’t mean to be ungrateful, Jesse, but do you know what the neighborhood kids call me?”
“What do you mean, Gramma?”
“They have a name for me, Jesse. They call me the Belmont Witch. I’ve heard them. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“Oh, that’s terrible, Gramma. Why would they do that?”
“Well, think about some of the things you’ve given me. The couch on the porch? The storage shed you put out back? The hat you made from that weird yarn? What would you think?”
“Witch. Definitely.”
“See?”
“Gosh Gramma, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what we were thinking.”
“So can you try to find a different chair, please? One that doesn’t scream ‘witch’ so loudly? Oh, and that hat smells funny.”
Brrrrr. I assume it’s called a “hospital chair” because that’s where you’ll end up if you sit in it.
I’m getting a rash just looking at it.
I guess the Amish mannequins didn’t end up in the poor woman’s yard because they cost $10k. But what about the poker table?
how long has that thing been rotting in the garage?
That chair just screams out “comfort”. It screams out “convenience”. It screams out…wait a second…no…my mistake. Those are the tortured souls of the old and infirm, who were forced to spend entire days at a time in that chair, screaming out from the grave.
I knew I heard something.
I can’t tell
is that picture from Resident Evil or Silent Hill?
@rockingfreakapotamus
I’m pretty sure that’s a screencap of Left 4 Dead 2.
So THAT’S what Hannibal Lecter’s transport gurney morphs into!
It’s perfect! I’ve been looking for something old and filthy to clutter up my house.
They had one of these in my CNA class. The teacher said they used to have like 8 or 9 of them and one small class used them instead of regular chairs and tables. They use(d) them in nursing homes as an unofficial restraint, because it’s hard to get out of them when the tray is locked.
Oh man, this may be the worst item yet
I feel like it is entreating me to hug its dusty tray.
Hospitals and nursing homes don’t have garage sales. Therefore, what I want to know is who in Des Moines just wheeled Grandma away from the care facility. How long was she left in the garage before she turned to dust leaning on the tray waiting for meals on wheels?
@rookgaroo
Best comment award
That’s Gramma Blair, right?
Cripes, I think you can pick up something like this at this place:
http://www.mountainsanatorium.net/
Well, you could before the place got torn down.
*shivers*
…they couldn’t even wipe off the tray a little?
This makes me think of MTV’s old show, FEAR. Remember that? OMG, I don’t know why they canceled it because I spent every episode ROLLING! LOL.