Bare as you Dare! – m4w – 49
Found On: Atlanta Craigslist By:Tyler A
Sure, we’re being a little flexible with our topic, but he is offering a free service. And one that may warrant a shrill comment or two. We bring you: guy who advertises his services as lady-shaver. Because who wouldn’t want a complete stranger holding an exceptionally sharp device near her . . . ?
A special thanks goes out to all you lovely ladies who have taken me up on this incredible offer in the past. And, to those of you who have yet to take advantage, what are you waiting on?
Total number of “lovely ladies” = 0.
Incredibleness of offer = very. I’m having trouble giving it credence right now.
What am I waiting on? My nausea to disappear.
Over the years, I have perfected a way to produce one of the smoothest shaves between your legs that you will ever experience using common everyday off the shelf products. There is a technique to it and the products to do it cost less than $10 and this is for several shaves.
Wait a minute. Are you about to try to sell me something? Are you part of some ultra-skeezy version of Amway?
Here is what I will do for you at absolutely no cost and no commitment on your part to do anything you don’t want to do.
You know what I “don’t want to do”? I don’t want to ever have seen this post. I don’t want to know you and your predilections exist. So I’ve already done something I don’t want to do. I feel cheapened. May as well let you shave me. That was your plan all along, wasn’t it?
You pick the place and time and I will show up and shave you smooth and clean, leaving no nicks, no bumps and no hair between your legs. You aren’t required to get totally naked unless you want to and I will keep my clothes on unless you say differently. I completely understand how uneasy this may make you feel so feel free to have your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or significant other present. In fact, they can watch and do it the next time.
I don’t think you do understand how uneasy this makes me feel. I also do not want to turn this into some sort of “Tupperware Party,” so I think I’ll keep my friends and family away.
Why do I do this?
Because of something that happened between you and your mother at a very young age that you have somehow neglected to discuss with any of the mental health professionals you have visited?
A good thing doesn’t have to cost you and I really enjoy spending the time and showing people how to do something that most anyone can do.
Your selflessness is touching . . . me.
What have you got to lose (except a little hair of course!)?
Self-respect? Ability to interact with strangers in the future? My carefully assembled sense of well-being? Self-respect?
If it matters, I am a happily married man for 27 years.
Oh, it matters. To your wife. Will she be out in the car?
This is not about sex,
It’s primarily about “ick,” but I think it’s about sex, too.
it’s about making you happy!
Epic making-me-happy fail.
Wow.
Just…..
….Wow.
I was going to make some pithy comment but I’ve decided to rock myself in the fetal position under my desk instead…
Love your site, this ad is beyond funny. Wish you hadn’t posted the pic, or had to click to see the pic, ’cause this just made your site not work-place friendly.
um, what to say. i agree with Jenny. this prevert(!) makes me shudder. and not in a good way.
I’m wondering how he proposes to do this without the subject getting naked? I assume he meant the subject didn’t need to be topless?
“I will not take my clothes off unless you say differently.” Because, women occasionally like their personal services provided by naked people. Right.
omg. i…omg. o.O
“i will keep my clothes on unless you say differently”. Seriously what does the shaver need to be naked for? can’t imagine any takers for this offer…
There should be a link to the actual ad for these things, I’d like to see them in all their un edited, craigslist-won’t-let-you-change-the-font, glory.
My stomach feels funny.
Nausea…overwhelming.
Holy sh*t….just wow. But, lets not forget that he’s been happily married for 27 years….he just enjoys shaving strangers crotches. THAT will make you trust him more…right?
OMG I think I met this guy in Winnipeg, srsly. He offered to shave my betty, not-about-you, happily-married etc yada yada. Ewwww!
i saw this ad somewhere very recently, and now i’m drawing a blank. was this ad already up on this site, just not on the front page? maybe i saw it on craigslist! when searching for roommates, i’ve seen tons of those ‘free room for fun girl…’ posts, but this just crushes those. i was gonna say ‘this guy has a screw loose,’ but am deciding to say ‘this guy has no screws left’ (pun intended!). he needs to be locked up.
@eza
So you’re saying that without the picture, it would be ok to surf this site all the time at your work?
I feel kinda sick after reading this, actually really sick, but I read it again to remove all doubt of this guy’s disgustingness. Maybe it’s a “Happy” Marriage for hime, but for his poor suffering wife who I’m sure he has pefected his technique on?… Not so much.
I’m imagining the guy’s wife looks like one of those poor hens whose rooster has plucked out most of the feathers on her back during his displays of, err, egg fertilizing. So now he is seeking lusher fields. Or bushes. Or whatever.
I am searching the opposite listings for a woman who would shave me for free. Any bidders?
Meh. Strange guy gets off on shaving anonymous women? It could be so much worse. Until recently, there was a guy posting on our local kijiji boards looking for a “matchmaker” who could meet him for coffee – he’d give her money for her time, of course! – and help him find an Asian lady for long-term friendship. He posted three or four of these ads in a row, each time.
what a perfect first ad for my first foray into the INAD world
In Vancouver a guy called Mr. Bald Nutz has been offering genital shaving for men for years, for a fee. And he’s still going strong.
Whihc just shows how weird men are
Sommmmeeeeoneeee has a shaving fetish! He better be good at it! I wonder if he is some huge, fat, balding old guy? Yum.
So, um, lets say hypothetically someone were to actually utilize his…service. What if he botches it? Take him to small claims court? “Yes Your Honor, his Craigslist crotch shaving service left me bumpy and violated…I want my self respect back.”
Phreak’d’o I do personal combing w/o the shave. I’ll brush your bush and make your treasure trail a neat one LOL:)
Wow…I’m confirmed in my suspicions that Craig’s List is just a large-scale sociological experiment.
@ Bill: You can use html to change the font
So, I went to the Atlanta Craigslist because I wanted to see if I could actually find this ad. I didn’t, but I DID find a guy offering his “services” in the Beauty classifieds: namely, a cup of his sperm for $100.
The comments…I’m actually laughing so hard it hurts! and my co-workers are staring at me, whispering quietly, and waiting until the cops show up to cart me off in that comfy jacket they always make me use.
I don’t know about this guy. All I’m thinking is shaved crotch = industrial-strength itch for weeks. No thank yew.
I’d swear an add similar to this was posted on the blog “Why Women Hate Men”
Maybe there is more than one man out there who desperately wants to shave you for free. Perhaps he grew up on a lonely little sheep farm, spending his days sheering his best friends and laughing at their innocent little “bahs!”
Now a grown man off the sheep farm, he longs for something to take him back to his childhood… he’ll actually pay YOU if you bah for him.
Oh WOW. This brings back memories!!
My hand to God – about 10-12 years ago, someone in my city (El Paso, Texas) posted an ad in one of the free local (printed) circulars, offering “Free bikini waxes, your place or mine.” It had a little bit more text, mostly abbreviated and which I understood to mean something along the lines of “age and appearance don’t matter,” and his phone number. I showed it to a friend and my mother and we laughed ourselves sick about the “practical joke.” (The circular had a history of occasionally running sarcastic or satirical ads.)
We decided to prank the pranksters – assuming that the number was for the circular, I called it, pretending to be interested in the ad. I figured we’d tweak the poor phone-answerer and have a bunch of belly laughs about it all. That was one of the worst mistakes I’ve ever made – this guy was SERIOUS, and he was DETERMINED.
When I realized that it wasn’t a joke, I hung up, shaken. He called me relentlessly for days, leaving long rambly messages on my voicemail about how there was absolutely nothing weird about his offer and if I thought it was weird I was just wrong and I needed to get over that RIGHT NOW and let him wax my pubic area.
I blocked his number and filed a complaint with the phone company and the local police, but all he did was go to pay phones and start calling me from there. Eventually I had to change my number. The police had had a couple of similar complaints (including, they said, some women who’d actually taken him up on the waxing offer!!) but because it was “just telephone harassment,” and this was in the days before stalking and obsessive behavior was really taken very seriously, they wouldn’t do much about it.
I thought that guy was one of a kind – guess not!
As to this guy, if he truly wanted to just provide a little happy-making service and it’s not about sex, he’d offer to email the items and the technique. But I think we all knew that already…
@Kilo
I hope you submitted that to INAD!
The testimonials are just glowing:
“A consummate professional”…. Sue Pernutz
“I was a little apprehensive at first but after my 17th whiskey sour he really was able to put me at my ease.” ….. Threa Sheetstothewind
“My husband and he really hit it off.” ….. Miss Treated
“We had him over at my wedding shower. All my maids of honor were thrilled!” …. Ima Whackjob
“He didn’t even blink an eye when he saw how bad I had the crabs. What a nice guy!” …. Foulcrak Whore
In my quest to find the original posting of this ad I found this http://neworleans.craigslist.org/m4m/1321297647.html which my or may not be worse….
I think I need an adult!
I continue to be a new and dedicated fan of this site, and the people who post comments. I’m just rolling over here!!! XD
This got me to thinking of putting up an opposite listing.
FREE FOR SHAVING:
Start practicing for your man on me! Hawt WOMEN only. You don’t have to get naked unless you want to. Bring and friend and she can help. You never know when you may need an extra pair of hands to pull of lift something. Don’t worry! She can be naked too.
I’ve been happily married for 17 years, but I’m afraid to let my wife get near my genitals with sharp objects.
It doesn’t grow back fast, but you don’t need hair down there to get naked, lather me up, and run a razor across it right?
NO STRAIGHT RAZORS PLEASE
Justyntime, I so wish you had not posted that link. Or that I had not clicked. Or that I hadn’t been born. Or that yesterday the universe had collapsed upon itself like the contraction of the pupil of the eye of God. One of those.
@Carnassis Vanderfellow
I think I <3 you. I just snorted so loud (from trying to suppress my giggles) that someone asked if I was “choking or something.”
how generous of him to provide this convenient public service at no cost to his faithful clients…wait, no. its just plain creepy.
I guess one person’s hair doesn’t grow fast enough for as often as he wants to shave somebody . . . at the usual growth rate I guess you’d need two or three dozen to do daily shaves. *frowns deeply*
@e
you kinda deserved that for being a dumbass and giving out yr # in the 1st place… there is such thing as dialing some digits to make yr # unlisted.
O_o
now u know better
v-unit, thanks for your concern, but *67 was not available on my phone service back then. And as I said, we were all certain it was a prank on the part of the paper (they’d done similar things before), so there was absolutely zero expectation of it actually being a legit ad.
I found a July iteration of Sir Shavesalot’s ad:
http://atlanta.craigslist.org/msr/1279764668.html
Determined little bugger.
v-unit, nobody can “dial some digits to make yr # unlisted.” Getting an unlisted number involves paying extra and negotiating with the phone company. “dialing digits” blocks your number from showing up on caller ID.
You need to get your terms straight before you can prank-call people really effectively.
This entry blocked your entire site at my job.
surfing this site at work is not very smart. almost every company logs all employee web surfing whether they admit it or not. especially with unemployment rising, recession, blah, blah you don’t want to be doing the digital equivalent of shouting, “hey look at me, i waste time at work!”.
I think I need an adult, and I AM an adult!
I think I’ll just stick with Veet, thanks.
I don’t know why people think this is creepy. I’ve been offering my service as a naked amateur gynecologist for years.
So this (married?) chap wanders the country shaving women’s snatches? For free? And advertises this? Is that even legal?
Why does he have to actually shave your pussy? Why can’t he just demonstrate technique?
“Hey Ladies, I’ve perfected a bikini shave that leaves you smooth and silky for days! Using only household ingredients costing around $10 all together, you too can have the smooth, sexy feel you desire! Tired of razor cuts, harsh chemicals and painful Bikini-waxes? My technique will leave you free to wear that swimsuit without embarrassing hair or painful itch! Ask me about it today!”
See?? That wasn’t so hard!
@Kittymouth
He could demonstrate on an arm or an unshaven ankle. Or your husband’s face if he starts growing a ’stache you don’t like.