Item not as described.

Found On: Atlanta Craigslist By:Tyler A

Sure, we’re being a little flexible with our topic, but he is offering a free service. And one that may warrant a shrill comment or two. We bring you: guy who advertises his services as lady-shaver. Because who wouldn’t want a complete stranger holding an exceptionally sharp device near her . . . ?

A special thanks goes out to all you lovely ladies who have taken me up on this incredible offer in the past. And, to those of you who have yet to take advantage, what are you waiting on?

Total number of “lovely ladies” = 0.

Incredibleness of offer = very. I’m having trouble giving it credence right now.

What am I waiting on? My nausea to disappear.

Over the years, I have perfected a way to produce one of the smoothest shaves between your legs that you will ever experience using common everyday off the shelf products. There is a technique to it and the products to do it cost less than $10 and this is for several shaves.

Wait a minute. Are you about to try to sell me something? Are you part of some ultra-skeezy version of Amway?

Here is what I will do for you at absolutely no cost and no commitment on your part to do anything you don’t want to do.

You know what I “don’t want to do”? I don’t want to ever have seen this post. I don’t want to know you and your predilections exist. So I’ve already done something I don’t want to do. I feel cheapened. May as well let you shave me. That was your plan all along, wasn’t it?

You pick the place and time and I will show up and shave you smooth and clean, leaving no nicks, no bumps and no hair between your legs. You aren’t required to get totally naked unless you want to and I will keep my clothes on unless you say differently. I completely understand how uneasy this may make you feel so feel free to have your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or significant other present. In fact, they can watch and do it the next time.

I don’t think you do understand how uneasy this makes me feel. I also do not want to turn this into some sort of “Tupperware Party,” so I think I’ll keep my friends and family away.

Why do I do this?

Because of something that happened between you and your mother at a very young age that you have somehow neglected to discuss with any of the mental health professionals you have visited?

A good thing doesn’t have to cost you and I really enjoy spending the time and showing people how to do something that most anyone can do.

Your selflessness is touching . . . me.

What have you got to lose (except a little hair of course!)?

Self-respect? Ability to interact with strangers in the future? My carefully assembled sense of well-being? Self-respect?

If it matters, I am a happily married man for 27 years.

Oh, it matters. To your wife. Will she be out in the car?

This is not about sex,

It’s primarily about “ick,” but I think it’s about sex, too.

it’s about making you happy!

Epic making-me-happy fail.

Tim-Tom classy creepy, m4w, not sex, shaving, smooth