Screen Door
Found On: Los Angeles Craigslist By:Garett
Free screen door. Has some rust and some crazy guy who lived here tried to weld himself in, so there are some weld marks near the knob. I have no idea how to get this thing off my door. You haul. First one here gets it.
This is so common a free classified ploy that it’s hardly worth talking about anymore. This person wants a service performed, and is trying to have it done under the guise of a “giveaway.” What would you get if you did this? Well, after you drove there with your torch and put in some time trying to get this loose (while not burning down the house), you’d be left with a rusty screen door with torch marks. Or some scrap steel. At about six cents a pound, you might get two bucks out of the deal.
Woo hoo?
The true text here should be: “I need someone with a torch and metalsmithing skills to make my rental unit usable again. Until I get the help I need, I am out about $1k a month – I can’t rent it if I can’t open it. Dear god, please help, I will pay you handsomely to remove this and get my life back to normal. I’m asking future tenants to submit to psychiatric tests.”
Lol Thats awesome.
I really if someone ever really goes for this BS.
I once had a landlord tell me that “If I don’t return the apartment the same exact way I got it he will keep my deposit”
I replied:
“Where the fuck am I going to get 100000 roaches???”
ok what i meant to say was 1st!!! lol j/k
“I really if someone”
what I meant was “I really wonder if someone”
Oh dear, v-unit, did you accidentally someone?
Nice line about the roaches. I might have to steal that some day.
Not having roaches, thankfully, just mice.
What’s so crazy about welding oneself into one’s house, may I ask???
Oh, I don’t know. Its obviously the work of the late Stanford White. You can tell by the Georgian Revival design, inspired by the Christopher Wren wing of Hampton Court Palace.
At least that’s how my last landlord would have described it.
You know, with a few more freebies like this one, you could build your own shark cage… and then offer it up on Craigslist
I’m the guy who welded myself inside my apartment. You may think it’s funny. I don’t. I’ll sweeten the pot for you. If someone will come and get me out, they can not only keep the door, but I’ll throw in a life-sized Grandma doll. Please hurry. Please.
I have a plasma cutter, I’ll bite… what all, um “functions” does the grandma doll, um… “do”?
@Mr Evilwrench
On her own, left sitting in a chair, I’ll grant you she’s not much of a date. But to someone equipped with a little imagination (and a plasma cutter!!!), the possibilities are endless…
She does, though, appear to have a fake vagina on her forehead
“First one here gets it.”
bet the guy listing this just got his first 45mm and is itching to use it. (…but officer, I heard somebody trying to break in my welded door. What was I to do?)
I would totally just rope that to the back of a tow truck and see what wins.