Free 1998 BMW
August 28th, 2009
Found On: Craigslist By: Ryan E
Should buff out however if you aren’t the buffing type, probably best to bring a flatbed
There are people who believe in ghosts, gods, supernatural beings, etc. There are people who don’t.
Score one for the believers. There’s nothing that could cause this kind of destruction without the help of magic, right? Some mighty sin was committed, and this is retribution, courtesy of Shiva, Perses, or maybe Fred, the little-known Patron Saint of Letting You Have It.
Unless . . . meteor? That must be it. Meteor. What a relief. My whole worldview was about to be undermined.
But what about that untouched seat? Why didn’t the meteor crush the driver?
*considers possibility of divine intervention/worldview again askew*
Sweet jesus, what the hell happened to that car?
Wow this was like a game where you find hidden objects in the picture. So far I have found the following:
Office Chair
Scooter
Kitchen Chair
TV
Dog Kennel (Possibly)
Parachute (Another possibly)
I can’t continue to look at this, it’s making my eyes hurt!!!
was anybody charged in this accident? good lawdy. i’m surprised it didnt say – needs body work….
I spy, with my little eye: a KFC cup.
@CarmenT: TWO Things that begin with B!
Barstool
Basketball hoop
I think I see some golf clubs in the garage… Here’s what I don’t get… The chances of this umm… minor paint damage? happening here in the driveway is pretty slim, so this guy had to either move it here, or pay someone to move it here. Did he really think it could just be buffed out??
Got Tetanus?
I don’t think Fred Sanford and his son Lemont would touch this one.
What Molly thinks might be a parachute may possibly be the clothing over bloody human remains.
This guys brains have been buffed out!
So, um….I don’t know that much about cars…but I’m pretty sure this needs more than just a quick “buff.” Just saying.
Also, I love how the windshield wiper is just sticking up out of nowhere. Someone should hook a little white flag to it so the poor car can surrender peacefully.
@CarmenT
I near pissed myself.
(BTW its next to the hood)
Will buff out. I want to see their cleaning supplies, and how they use them.
Am I stupid? Or just plain dumb? The cognitive dissonance between the picture and the description are causing 4/5 of my synapses to get a little hitch in their giddyaps.
@Kbman
And does that company have a makeup division?
Good God, I have no idea how you’d even DO that. The thing that really throws me is the intact driver’s seat. How do you fuck up a car that badly, but leave the driver’s seat intact?
I would like to know what the neighbors think. Has to be a NASCAR wantabe.
I looked at this some more and finally realized the she found out that he was cheating on her and his prized mustang…(hell has no furry than a woman scorned).
I like the random blood stain on the left side of the picture, on the floor. That must have been where the body laid right before they removed it to take the picture.
…I didn’t even realize there was a car in that picture at first.
@Keith
It’s a fixer-upper! A little buffing is all it needs.
I’ve seen better looking cars (?) come out of a monster truck rally. What the heck, gimme that buffer. It’ll come out.
This is sssooooo obvious! The owner was obviously a James Bond gadget fan, who wanted to create his own ejector seat for his car. However, a lot too much gunpowder turned it into the mess we see here. This would explain the parachute and intact driver’s seat others have seen.
@Ragtatter
Ragtatter: It’s the calm at the eye of the storm.
I wonder how the office chair got involved in this.
I’m confused by the mud and blocks of wood. Clearly the jaws of life were used to extricate someone after the car was t-boned in the passenger door. Either that, or this car was dropped from 30,000 feet by a passing airplane.
@korsair
LOL! Of course! Why didn’t I see that? It totally makes sense now. And of course the driver’s seat is reinforced so that it wouldn’t be damaged in case of having to eject from a flaming car, as Lolo has suggested. Excellent diagnosis, doctor.
2 questions. Are there any items that actually identify this as a BMW? How much dried blood is coating the car?
@Canaduck
Oh man, same here. I just saw what looked like a garbage heap and looked through for whatever could be in need of a “buff.” The chair? That couldn’t be right. And then I realized the title was “BMW.”
Just wow.
I’m convinced the dude had a pissed off wife…
The DH points out the cut areas on the support pillars. He posits that it was a rollover requiring the Jaws of Life to extricate the occupant(s).
The original came from the Best of CL, and there’s another picture besides this one. Maybe someone else’s eyes can spot something definitively BMWish in it:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/968512408.html
I note a shovel leaning up against the car. Is this AFTER someone tried to clean up? O.o
I poked around a smidge and believe I can show this is indeed a 1998 BMW M3. Look at the seat (especially the small design on it with the little stripes).
Compare it to this picture from an ad for the same year, make and model:
http://claspics.com/480/125273/1249957310-586.JPG.php
Same logo, same seat style.
i can’t look at this picture without laughing
Oooh! I’m digging the gold-plated steamer trunk, wonder if that’s free too?
I suspect this person hauled this thing back to his house to cannibalize for parts, and now the wife’s making him get rid of it.
This HAS to be the best item yet! My guess is that his neighbors are so pissed at the PILE of trash in their neighbors So. Cal driveway that by some city ordinance they are making him get rid of this thing. Seriously, not only is this POS pulled apart and lying piece by bloody piece in the yard it’s also surrounded by what can only be described as this guy’s own personal sanitation department. Top it off with a garage piled floor to ceiling with more crap. Oh and I spy a boogie board! (in the orginal listing)
“should buff out…”
LOLOLOLOL
So what ate the rest of the car?
I wonder if that motor bike (missing part of its tail) is availble.
Couldn’t even tell at first glance that there was a car in this picture. Looks like it got hit from the side. The roof was definitely cut off by the jaws of life, one of my friends is an EMT and recognized the cuts.
Hope there was no one in the passenger seat when it was hit.
Should buff out
Now that’s a ShamWow commercial I really want to see.
Hmm… needs a couple spare parts, a little bit of body work, and you have a brand new BMW. I could go for that.
Yep, just a quick buff should fix that riiiiight up.
But seriously, I grew up in a small town and during the county fair there would often be a “game” for the teenagers in which you could spend five minutes inflicting as much damage as humanly possible to some car for a buck.
This whole scene completely floored me, lol. I was like “wuuuut….,” then WTFOMGFOTFLMAO
@Joshua Norton
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Funniest thing I read on this site! lol lol lol
That is indeed a mid 90’s BMW. Unless someone swapped interiors that’s an M3 thanks to that “Vader” seat.
Damn KFC cup just chilling there in flat but better condition than anything in it’s habitat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7YJxsKD5jw
That explains exactly what happened to this vehicle…
I spy: an rifle. For heaven’s sake, put that poor thing out of it’s misery!