Old Stuffed Frog – $10
Old Stuffed Frog, I beleave it is a real frog that was stuffed or petrified. It is standing on a wooden piece and looks like it is playing a harp. We are moving and it is fragile so we are selling it. We would like $10.00 for it.
Renowned artisan/craftsman Ianno receives a visit to his workshop from long-time patron, the eccentric billionaire, Mr. Ellison. The following exchange occurs:
Mr. Ellison (imagine the voice of Will Ferrell imitating James Lipton): “Ianno, I have a project for you. There is a new objet d’art percolating in my imagination, and I would like you to bring it to life. You and I are about to embark on another of our many creative journeys.”
Ianno (imagine the voice of Christopher Walken as “The Continental”): “Yes, sir, Mr. Ellison, I would be honored to again create an item spawned from the magical recesses of your unique unconscious. The drink coasters made from cross-sections of the leg of a long-frozen baby Mammoth? Inspired, sir! The headphones, featuring the severed faces of two Howler monkeys, frozen in perpetual alarm? Shocking, but beautiful. You remember what Damien Hirst had to say about them? Yes, I do as well. Certainly, ‘declasse’ was the word he used, but envy was the tone that infused it. What is your latest stroke of genius?”
“Ianno, this one, it is simple. I think your capable hands will fabricate it in days, but it must be just right. I want you to use your powers of sculpture and taxidermy to create the following: a swollen toad, standing erect, taking a piss on a harp. That is not beyond your ken, is it?”
“Sir, it will be a challenge, particularly dealing with the amphibious skin, but it can, nay, it must be done. A swollen toad, standing erect, taking a piss on a harp? How delightfully preposterous! You have outdone yourself!”
this is simply inexplicable.
Umm….this frog is definitely made of wood. Right? …..right???
These used to be very big as souvenirs in Mexico; there were frogs doing all kinds of things. I had a stuffed frog riding a wooden motorcycle back in the day.
You made me piss my pants (almost, not really!!)
I’ve seen lots of these in Mexico.. They’re real frogs.
I want this.
I laughed so hard I cried a little. Best commentary ever!
I think his fly is down.
Chad: Nope, it’s quite real. In the north of Australia where Cane Toads are big pests they do similar things to them.
What with the “this animal annoys me, and there are too many of them, I know let’s preserve them in some way and make bad art”. Its just weird
THAT….is disturbing.
That’s how they make wart hogs.
I can’t believe some people stopped visiting this site because they didn’t like the commentary. “How delightfully preposterous!”
It’s playing that harp. The disturbing part is what it appears to be playing it with
I WANT THIS. Annnnd I want one playing the piano, one playing a bass, and one with a trumpet. That would be one sweet jazz combo. And I i have a better idea: stuffed toad nativity scene.
Jesus of Calaveras County.
With a tadpole as baby Jesus?
My ex had one of these, but it wasn’t playing a harp. I feel cheated.
@SirCannonFodder
In the rest of Australia, and the world, where people are real pestst they should do the same things to them.
Nevertheless story is hilarious.
uh, the harp humper? i dunno.
Disturbing. I’d buy it for the privilege of burying that monstrosity; to put that poor creature in the earth where the gross indignities against it will finally be at an end.
Oh my GAWD, this is just so gross. Okay, so gross can have it’s amusing factor, I admit I’ve been known to engage in gross stuff because it’s funny. But this is so GAWD-AWFUL UGLY. BLECH. Oh dear, I must look away.
Ok, while it looks like he is indeed taking a piss… what if he is just REALLY “enjoying” the harp??
I simply must have Ianno’s frog masterpiece
“Please, my precious flower…let me freshen your sham-pawn-ya.”
I HAVE one of these outstanding Mexican tourist items, it’s two frogs sitting at a table drinking beer and playing dominos. The dominos are not of correct proportions. You can’t have everything.
My only regret is that I don’t have a wall of photographs of people’s faces the moment they see this thing. That would be an awesome collage.
@Burris
Feel free to rescue all those cane toads from Australia, Hawai’i, and Florida that are killing off non-native species after being introduced to those areas by humans. If you’d like, we have millions of fire ants you’re welcome to take, too. No, really, it’s no bother! More will move in soon afterwards.
What was going through the mind of the person that made this. And worse than that, the mind of the person that bought it and now wants $10 for it?
Oh yeah! Love me some of that toad!
The first photo, showing the back of the frog… makes it look like the frog is standing up, taking a pee.
Imagining Chirtopher Walken saying that. was incredibly awesome. and the item….just..why?
What’s sad is, I’m looking at this, and all I can think of is, “There’s a killer on the road…”
Is that wrong?
@Bobbie
Lmao, nope. “his brain is squirming like a toad…”
My first thought wasn’t that he was peeing on it. It looks like he’s dry humping it. Get a room already.
That’s a toad.
OMG! I have three of these petrified frogs!! I bought them as a joke when I was teaching in Honduras. One frog is holding a microphone, one is playing the xylophone, and the other is playing a tiny guitar!!! I never thought that I’d see anything like this again!
Christopher Walken as a mildly disturbed taxedermist, this is a win in every way. I want those howler monkey headphones too.