ATM machine. For ??? or scrap
October 10th, 2009
Found by: Jodi on Portland Craiglist
One old ATM machine, no computer or monitor included. Could work well as a safe(includes the key), or an interesting sculpture, or as scrap. It’s heavy (over 200lbs) I do not have a title for it.
Easy comment – “ATM machine” is redundant, dumbass!
Better comment – Free hole in your living room floor -”Just a liiiitle bit further to the . . .” [crash/wailing/water-spraying-from-broken-pipes] “Honey, I told you that ‘interesting sculpture’ thing was a lie.”
Correct comment – Newest post for itemlikelytoincriminate.
Ram-raid on a Spar? Free ads aren’t the smartest place to get rid of the evidence..
“I do not have a title for it.”
How about ‘Stolen ATM’?
But, I have the keys! Just because the serial numbers are drilled off and there are sledge hammer marks and chain marks all over it doesn’t mean a thing! I bought this as a flea market and then decided I didn’t need it as a counter-weight for my mother-in-law.
… is there even such a thing as a ‘title’ for an ATM?
hey- can be used as a kid’s playhouse puppet theatre – just get inside the… whooopsie.
Waaaaaiiiit a minute… Haven’t I seen this ATM before? Was it the one once ATM seen on a CSI episode? Or was it the on from Breaking Bad? I KNEW it looked familiar!
Install an old monitor with a bark logo and the words DEPOSIT ONLY. Then go to a bank late Friday night and caulk this to the wall. Pick it up late Sunday night and collect the deposits. Then unload it on Craigslist again.
@dono1
(bank not bark)
The perfect Halloween costume for a parent of 2 or 3 college students, who already FEELS like an ATM – and has been lugging around a 200-lb football scholarship kid anyway, so wearing this should be a breeze.
This works out great as I have just started a printing company that prints custom retrofitted “titles” for stolen ATMs. Each “title” comes with a certificate of authenticity suitable for framing and a scratch and ding removal kit to get rid of those annoying crowbar and chiseled marks. Send for your today at:
Benny the Dip
Print shop
State Penitentiary
If a 200lbs weight will break a hole in your floor I hope you have a sign on your front door saying ‘no fatties’
Nah, “deposit only” isn’t necessary, just make it out to be a full ATM and when they’ve swiped their card and entered the PIN, say “error”. Collect the card numbers and PINs, make fake cards, and go to real ATMs. Or, um… don’t do any of that; it would be bad and wrong.
“My buddies and I swiped this ATM, stole all the money, and we want you to take the evidence.”
Hay Benny the Dip, How much do I have to send you?
I am halfway sure that was my old neighbor, I recognize the background and they had a stolen ATM in their back yard. Government dole renters, they really brought down the property values.
“Look, I don’t care if you get caught showing this stolen ATM in public. Just take it, okay? Now if you excuse me, I need to find a way to go out of the country.”