Free Hard Pond Liner
October 13th, 2009
Free Hard Pond Liner Please email
I have no idea what happened to this pond liner to turn it into the monstrosity it has become, but past is prologue; I only know its future.
Instead of koi, these will swim its waters:
Instead of lily pads, you get an algae bloom:
And instead of turtles like this little friend lolling about:
you get:
Enjoy!
Ha ha ha! Worst calcium buildup ever! They must have never cleaned or refreshed the water in that thing XD
They couldn’t clean it first?
If this is a hard pond liner I’d hate to see what an easy one looks like.
instead of donald you get this:
http://itemnotasdescribed.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/mask-P.jpg
Hungry has a good idea. That mask would make the death turtle look a lot less imposing.
that looks like a bed pan for an unknown creature… i dont even want to think about it!
Will somebody please identify the death turtle for me? I need to know its name so I can stay a minimum of eighty miles from the border of any area that contains it.
It’s an alligator turtle. Just don’t touch down on any murky lake beds and you should be fine. Should be….
I should ring this person up and offer any prospective takers a two-fer. My mother has two others made from the same material, one of which has a hole in it but she refuses to get rid of it. They’ve never been used, either, so they’re prettier.
@Kit
Kit, that would be a snapping turtle.
@Anna Rexia
Holy fucking shit. That is a snapping turtle? Look at the size of its head compared to the hand that’s in the background. I thought snapping turtles had small snakelike heads. This thing is an elephant with a wood chipper.
Sometimes in South Carolina I’d hear people talking about hunting snapping turtles. I had no idea these were the things they were going out looking for on purpose.
@Kit
My sources (Dirty Jobs, Wikipedia) tell me that this thing is an alligator snapping turtle.
Presumably a less fun variety of regular snapping turtle.
Yes, that’s a snapping turtle, and they do get pretty big. Keep any hands, fingers or other body parts away from their heads. Their necks are very strong and will stretch out further than you think. Their jaws are extremely strong, and while they may not bite your fingers off, they will bite down to the bone. And here’s the clincher: once they bite down they don’t let go.
We used to butcher & eat them. Their legs & neck were the only parts that were worth eating. That is, if you liked the taste of the meat. I never really cared for it that much. Cool fact: even after their heads are cut off, it can still bite for probably up to a half hour.
That’s a pond liner? Looks more like somebody dredged up one of those paddle-boats they leave leaning against the wall outside Wal-Mart.
Out of a septic tank.
I looked up “alligator snapping turtle.” That’s what it is, all right. Alligator snapping turtles are larger, less-aggressive relatives of the common snapping turtle. Hooray! Less aggressive! And it won’t necessarily bite *through* my bones, only *down to* them! I’m so glad I got up this morning.
@Kit
And remember: don’t go back in the pond for at least a half-hour after you’ve cut their heads off.
They should have just marketed this thing as a giant cement mixer, they may have even gotten some cash from it. “Rumored to be the ‘Hoffa’ mixer, this thing has been in Uncle Sal’s storage container until his untimely demise early this summer.”