Comments on: Free Hard Pond Liner

By: tnthudson

tnthudson — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 21:47:52 +0000

They should have just marketed this thing as a giant cement mixer, they may have even gotten some cash from it. “Rumored to be the ‘Hoffa’ mixer, this thing has been in Uncle Sal’s storage container until his untimely demise early this summer.”

By: dono1

dono1 — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:30:03 +0000

@Kit And remember: don't go back in the pond for at least a half-hour after you've cut their heads off.

By: Kit

Kit — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:26:59 +0000

I looked up “alligator snapping turtle.” That’s what it is, all right. Alligator snapping turtles are larger, less-aggressive relatives of the common snapping turtle. Hooray! Less aggressive! And it won’t necessarily bite *through* my bones, only *down to* them! I’m so glad I got up this morning.

By: dw

dw — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:03:48 +0000

That’s a pond liner? Looks more like somebody dredged up one of those paddle-boats they leave leaning against the wall outside Wal-Mart.

Out of a septic tank.

By: Joe Mama

Joe Mama — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:56:02 +0000

Yes, that’s a snapping turtle, and they do get pretty big. Keep any hands, fingers or other body parts away from their heads. Their necks are very strong and will stretch out further than you think. Their jaws are extremely strong, and while they may not bite your fingers off, they will bite down to the bone. And here’s the clincher: once they bite down they don’t let go.

We used to butcher & eat them. Their legs & neck were the only parts that were worth eating. That is, if you liked the taste of the meat. I never really cared for it that much. Cool fact: even after their heads are cut off, it can still bite for probably up to a half hour.

By: Kanil

Kanil — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:02:15 +0000

@Kit My sources (Dirty Jobs, Wikipedia) tell me that this thing is an alligator snapping turtle. Presumably a less fun variety of regular snapping turtle.

By: Kit

Kit — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:29:28 +0000

@Anna Rexia Holy fucking shit. That is a snapping turtle? Look at the size of its head compared to the hand that's in the background. I thought snapping turtles had small snakelike heads. This thing is an elephant with a wood chipper. Sometimes in South Carolina I'd hear people talking about hunting snapping turtles. I had no idea these were the things they were going out looking for on purpose.

By: Anna Rexia

Anna Rexia — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 03:14:12 +0000

I should ring this person up and offer any prospective takers a two-fer. My mother has two others made from the same material, one of which has a hole in it but she refuses to get rid of it. They've never been used, either, so they're prettier. @Kit Kit, that would be a snapping turtle.

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:57:02 +0000

It’s an alligator turtle. Just don’t touch down on any murky lake beds and you should be fine. Should be….

By: Kit

Kit — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 22:05:50 +0000

Will somebody please identify the death turtle for me? I need to know its name so I can stay a minimum of eighty miles from the border of any area that contains it.