Male Ostrich
I have a 3 y/o male ostrich. Actually I have 23 of them . This particular one is mean. Real mean!!! He will kick you into the middle of next week. He bites and attacks anything that moves. He needs to go to a home that will not eat him. I have thought of it more than once. He would make a great guard bird for a salvage yard. But he eats anything he can get in his mouth. There is no re homing fee. You must capture and restrain for transport. You must TRANSPORT at your own risk. You must sign a hold harmless affidavit in case he hurts you.
If you replaced the word “ostrich” with “rabid dog” or “rogue elephant,” this would be obviously unreasonable. This is probably just as bad, but somehow, the fact that it’s an angry ostrich makes it almost cute. If only I had a junkyard that needed guarding. Or enemies who needed attacking.
There I was thinking “amazing barbecue drumsticks” when I came across “He needs to go to a home that will not eat him”
If I’m going to all the effort of capturing and restraining this beast I want something out of it!
No eggs, and you can’t eat him. Sheesh.
“Accidental Death” followed by barbeque, I mean cremation.
He needs to go to a home that will not eat him, but the new owners may get eaten in the process.
Has anyone tested this Ostrich for steroids? Sounds ilke “roid rage” to me.
If he’s just salty, then I’ll take him!
Stand back! This ostrich is loaded!
Those things can disembowel someone with a kick. They can kill full grown lions in the wild. Somehow I doubt law enforcement would lend much weight to a waiver if they’re standing over a corpse.
This sucker needs to become a pair of boots – or better yet a handbag!
There’s an updated post to this… it’s under the pets section, upper left of main Memphis CL page…. it reads:
“…We found a great home for the big turkey. It took 4 adult men and a big net to do it. He is going to a breeder farm in Texas. Good God, Good riddance and good luck unloading him and not getting hurt. Words of advice. Open door to trailer. Run! Run fast!! Run faster!!! You do not have to be faster than the bird. Just be faster than the guy that used to be your friend who is with you. Come back for trailer in dark. Quietly. “
Man, if it means a wrathful ostrich to do my bidding, I’ll *find* some enemies.
Great thing about a guard ostrich is they will watch the stuff you have above *and* below ground!
So…this guy owns 23 ostriches, but this one he can’t handle? Say it out loud, it just doesn’t sound right. I’m certainly no expert, but where else exactly is this thing supposed to go if it can’t make it on what is apparently an ostrich ranch? Give up and eat the damn thing.
It is probably a better idea to turn that guy into a pair of boots, handbags and drumsticks, and let the ostrich roam free in redneck countryside.
I have to admit, I love the idea of the bird becoming a “guard bird for a salvage yard”….the crackheads and gangbangers breaking in would go from surprise, to laughter, to screams of pain and misery sooooo quickly. It would definitely be worth recording on a surveillance camera.
I’d pay to see that footage
Totally viral on YouTube in a matter of hours. I’d save a copy of that one!
Well, I’m glad the dumb cluck found a taker. I was rootin’ for him – rebel without a cause, just “born under an angry star” – we gotta stick together. Maybe he’ll mellow a bit in his new digs.
Yeah I have to agree, I do like the spin on a guard dog. I would like to have a guard ostrich.
If I take the ostrich, can I train him to go after the Jehovah’s Witnesses?
If this bird is THAT BAD, it needs to be recruited into the Army and sent to Afghanistan to take on the Taliban and find Bin Laudin.
This reminds of the emu’s from King of the Hill.
I had the same thought
maybe it’s still angry for having had Rod Hull’s arm up it’s arse all these years!
I don’t blame it…
Guard mules are common in Missouri where coyotes attack young horses and cattle. I saw pictures of a mule attacking and killing a mountain lion in someone’s camp when it went after the hunting dogs. I wish I could remember the link. Don’t underestimate the ability of other animals to protect themselves and their “pack”.
Ostriches are terrifying, terrifying animals. They’re mean to begin with, and birds can be aggressive anyways. Add to that that they run almost 50mph (and can do so for up to half an hour), and I believe you’re effed when he gets mad.
I have a gun, not worried.
I am shocked this bird didn’t end up on some campus, somewhere.
Announcing to a bunch of strangers on the internet that you aren’t afraid of a hypothetical ostrich because you’ve got a gun? You must be soooo cool.
I remember watching an episode of an animal rescue show on Animal Planet and the rescuers, including this one guy who was a specialist in more “exotic” animals, kept going on and on about how dangerous ostriches can be and how they would much rather deal with -anything- else. Giant snakes, geese, sheep, pigs, feral cats — all better than pissed off ostriches.
Don’t laugh. My sister was once bitten by an emu (a close relative to the ostritch, when it comes to being large and birdlike). I would take it just to beat it to death with a stick.
But don’t worry about me eating it.
A moose once bit my sister.
When I was young I saw some emus when I was out with a friend and her family. They freaked me out so I backed away from the fence. Her little brother (who wasn’t all too bright) didn’t and got bit. I have known since then how evil these birds are.
Birds are descendants from dinosaurs. So are alligators. So why does ostrich taste good while alligator does not?
My mother taught me that you should never put conditions on gifts. Gifts are gifts. If you are not willing to give up the item completely, you should not give it away.
To do list:
1) Pick up this: http://houston.craigslist.org/zip/1485695526.html
2) Retrieve pissed off ostrich
3) Put him in my new cage and poke him with a stick