Item not as described.

Found by: Heather on Bakersfield Craigslist

We got my daughter a Hamster and now he just sits in his cage lonely. Needs a home that will play with him. Hes free to a good home and family. His name is Rhino. Free with cage, ball and his bowls.

Not for snake food. Will go to APPROVED HOME ONLY.

With your email please send details on why you would like to adopt him. If you do not I will delete your email. I have to make sure for my daughters sake that he goes to a loving home.

If I were Rhino, I wouldn’t just be lonely, I’d be pretty claustrophobic. In fact, becoming snake food might seem like sweet relief. But maybe he’s a cave hamster, and doesn’t mind living in a drawer.

Stephen Uncategorized depressing, hamster, true INAD

Found by: Jimmyandbimmy on Philadelphia Craigslist

This is not a joke. My back is kinda hairy and every now and then it feels weird. I’m looking for someone to apply some shaving cream to it, and shave my back. Finish it off with some aftershave. Whoever wants to do it will get $20; I have all the stuff already. You can either come to my apartment and do it, or I will come to your place. This job shouldn’t take anymore than an hour to do.

I’m pretty sure there must be a better way to get this done. Like by someone who isn’t a complete stranger. If, however, you’re committed to unfamiliar hands putting a razor to your skin, try this guy.

Stephen Uncategorized creepy, shaving

I am often preoccupied with the philosophical questions posed by classifieds.

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Found by: Chris on San Francisco Craigslist

Used to have drawers now just the frame

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Does a dresser without drawers become a “hutch,” or is it just firewood?

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Found On: Pullman Craigslist By: Melissa B

FREE – ONLY THE SWING SET – needs swings!
Can be disassembled – YOU HAUL!

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What is a swingset without swings, really?

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Found by: GiddyGirlie on Orange County Craigslist

Sentry safe with no comb! I lost the combo…..

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And how can one use a safe without a combination? All I can think of is weight to block the door when the zombies come. But that’s something, I guess.

Stephen Uncategorized mysterious, what is it

I’ve decided I’ve had it with blogging. I can do better. I don’t need readers, I need followers. I’m fairly imaginative, somewhat charismatic, and have a nice, deep voice. I deserve followers. So here’s the plan. I’m going to buy some inexpensive property in San Bernardino County, and I’m going to put what I’ve learned from this blog to work. Then I’m going to get all of these post-natural-disaster mobile homes, and move them to San Berdoo.

You can join me there, if you’re willing to hand over all your savings (min. $10k) and promise your undying fealty. I’m working on the details of your new religion right now. It involves elements of Buddhism and the Toastmasters. I’m not promising anything, but I expect that the Brady Bunch “Hawaiian Vacation” episodes will be among our sacred texts. Tell your family you’re going out for cigarettes.

Here are the components of our compound:

Found by: Bradley on Fresno Craigslist

FREE TRAILER YOU MUST MOVE AND PAY ALL COST BUT ITS FREE CONTACT JASON AT #

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Found by: Kerrick on San Francisco Craigslist

FIRST OF ALL——————-WHOEVER IS FLAGGING THIS—–I CONTACTED CL AND THEY SAID ITS IN THE ONLY PLACE IT CAN GO AS A MOVABLE RV——–10X40 MOBILEHOME—ALL INSIDE GOES W/IT—ON 2 AXLES—-AND GOOD TIRES—————THE SPOT WHERE THERE IS MISSING PANELL,IS WHERE THE PORCH WAS:::::::::::

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Found On: Cincinnati Craigslist By: Jojo

This mobile home was damaged in the winds last year and we want it gone. It must be hauled away as one unit. We will not allow removal of plumbing, siding, etc.

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Found On: Anchorage Craigslist

free, no wheels or axels, open on one side

Welcome home.

Stephen Uncategorized busted, missing pieces, mobile home, new jobs

Rock with the Rhesus?

Found by: Ethan on Madison Craigslist

50 watt Marshall, all-tube, model # 4210, JCM800, 12-nch Celestion, footswitch included, 80’s era. This amp is sweet sounding, just what you need. I don’t really want to sell it, but the monkey is expensive.

If you bargain me down to less than full price, I’m keeping the monkey.

Or roll with Rover?

Found by: William on Chambana Craigslist

Jazzy Select Power Chair like new used 2-3 times is spotless if you really need one this is a rare opportunity ay this price.
New is 5500.00 dollarsMSRP was asking 2800.00 priced reduced to 2000.00 cash only

Comes with lab mix dog see pic below.
Female 2 plus yrs old very friendly great dog . needs a loving home

The things people will do to get around craigslist’s rules against pet sales.

Stephen Uncategorized animals, package deal, which would you rather?

Found by: Catherine on Memphis Craigslist

I have a 3 y/o male ostrich. Actually I have 23 of them . This particular one is mean. Real mean!!! He will kick you into the middle of next week. He bites and attacks anything that moves. He needs to go to a home that will not eat him. I have thought of it more than once. He would make a great guard bird for a salvage yard. But he eats anything he can get in his mouth. There is no re homing fee. You must capture and restrain for transport. You must TRANSPORT at your own risk. You must sign a hold harmless affidavit in case he hurts you.

If you replaced the word “ostrich” with “rabid dog” or “rogue elephant,” this would be obviously unreasonable. This is probably just as bad, but somehow, the fact that it’s an angry ostrich makes it almost cute. If only I had a junkyard that needed guarding. Or enemies who needed attacking.

Stephen Uncategorized ostrich, unsafe

Found On: Bay Area

“Free pompous grass. I’m digging it all up out of my yard this week.”

But be warned: you’ll want to dig it all up out of your yard as well, probably around the tenth time it starts yammering about that semester it spent as part of the landscape at Oxford.

Jessica Uncategorized as-is, entity, garden, nature, unwieldy

Found On: Honolulu Craigslist By: Katie

Psychology can help you find yourself and take greater control of your life. How? By having a better understanding of the way our thoughts, emotions, environment, relationships and society affect us. If you are interested in receiving free college level learning materials in Psychology just reply to this posting. Self learning and Education are the key to personal growth. I also have a set of learning materials available in E-Commerce, also free…

Are we supposed to take from this picture that some pre-modern war or another could have been avoided if only some battle-mad narcissist had done a little more self-reflection? “Don’t let people die under your command circa 1740, read this psychology book instead.”

Stephen Uncategorized enlightenment, life lessons, suggested uses

Found by: Devan on Santa Barbara Craigslist

I guarantee I can help you turn your life around — I’m a great coach. If you’re wondering what’s happening to your life and wanting to take off in new directions, I can absolutely help you figure things out then focus on building a life of purpose, passion and joy.

In exchange, I’d like to have use of a car, and maybe you have an extra one in the garage that doesn’t get driven much.

We’d be a perfect match.

Email me, we’ll explore the possibilities. Thanks and have a wonderful day!

I think I want a life coach who can afford a car of his own. My last one lived in a van, down by the river. And I didn’t make a lot of progress.

Stephen Uncategorized barter

Found by: Debb on Fort Wayne Craigslist

very nice condion,only worn once last year, has mittens with it.free for pick up or meet in blufton only.says 3-6 months on it,

Really, I have no quarrel with the infant horse costume. I just love the pictures. On the left, little Jesse is still enjoying the rave. The MDMA is coming on smoothly, the beats are mellow.

“Man, this is just as good as Coachella was last year. PLUR, dude.”

But eventually, things take a turn for the worse: “aw, man, this may have been a bad batch, I don’t feel so good. Ugh. Somebody needs to change this diaper. And it isn’t me.”

Stephen Uncategorized costume, I am so high right now