Item not as described.

Found On: Bay Area

“Cream color with flowers.”

Here at INAD, we see a lot of ugly couches. But this is the first one we’ve come across that looks as though it’s actually suffering from some sort of communicable disease.

Jessica as-is couch, infested, ugly

Found On: Baltimore Craigslist

By: Brad & Christine

Ive never sat on them. They were left by my former roommate. Im moving and will not be taking these with me. Maybe they could be of use to you. You haul away

Some days, I think the free classifieds are just an enormous experiment in measuring our collective mental health. When people respond to posts like this, a notification is sent to Forest Laboratories, and the Celexa factory runs an overtime shift. “Yep, they’re still just barely hanging on out there.”

Of course, if you inquire about this next one, the nearby pharmacies know they need to make sure they’re stocked up on Thorazine. Because you’re more than a little crazy, aren’t you?

Found On: Las Vegas Craigslist

our dog chewed up the top of this couch, other than that it’s still a pretty good couch. it also has a fold out bed that’s still in good condition. if you want it, just come and grab it anytime, there’s no cost. it could also make for a good bonfire or chew toy for your dogs.

Stephen as-is as-is, broken, busted, couch, furniture, old, symptoms, ugly

Found On: Tallahasse Craigslist By: Tim S

old couch, been loved very hard. cushions have been ripped up and one of the legs is broken. Nothing that a couch cover cant solve. will sell it for $5 or free if your totally opposed to buying it.

I’m not sure how a couch cover fixes a broken leg, but I like the end – “I want $5, but I’ll take zero.” Not the strongest bargaining position ever taken. I think I see where this is going to wind up:

Found On: Spokane Craigslist By: Nicole B.

Hey my name is alan. And i have a old couch. I havent been able to get rid off it for free so now i will pay 20 dollars to someone to take it from me.

Nit Picker as-is broken, couch, furniture, o rly

Found On: Indianapolis Craigslist By: Laura H

free corner couch that was part of like an 1800$ couch, house to small for it left on front pouch and dogs kinda got it all dirty, but still in fair shape. i do have this add up for the couch on another posting, just as the first one the matieral is stain resistant velour and comes off very easily just dont want to mess with it n plus dont have room

I saw this and thought – “Just think of the science fair project I could have! This wedge of ick must contain entire germ civilizations! I’ll bet a replacement for penicillin could be harvested from cultures somewhere on this chair – that crevice between the two cushions looks like the sweet spot. College scholarship, here I come!”

Sadly, I checked the rules for the 2009 Central Indiana Science & Engineering Fair. It’s a no go:

“The following list of prohibited items cannot be part of any display at the Regional Science Fair:

-Water or other liquids, even in a sealed container.
-Living or formerly living materials including:

Plants, animals, or microbes (bacteria, molds, yeasts, or algae).
Spoiled food or other decomposing organic matter.
Microbial cultures.
Soil or waste samples.
Preserved plant or animal material including: dried plant material and taxidermy specimens or parts.
Human or animal parts (exceptions: hair, teeth, nails, bones, histological sections, and wet-mount tissue slides)
Human or animal food

-Sharp items
-Flames or highly flammable materials
-Tanks with any substances under pressure
-Batteries with open-top cells
-Poisons, drugs, or controlled substances
-Dry ice or other sublimating solids
-Moving parts with unprotected belts and/or pulleys
-Class III and IV lasers
-Other items which in the judgment of the Safety Committee of the Regional Science Fair pose a threat to the health of safety of participants, judges, or spectators”

So I guess my competition dreams are off the table, but maybe I can come up with something involving a Class I or II laser. Or fingernails.

In other news:”stain resistant”?

Nit Picker as-is couch, dirty, furniture, missing pieces, unsanitary

Found On: Bay Area Craigslist

The post describes this as a couch, but it could just as easily have said “Free Bigfoot” or “Free Loch Ness Monster.”

It’s hard to get a good shot of a frightened couch, as it flees into the night.

Junktown Jerky Vendor Spooky blurry, couch, entity, furniture, supernatural