This is not a joke. My back is kinda hairy and every now and then it feels weird. I’m looking for someone to apply some shaving cream to it, and shave my back. Finish it off with some aftershave. Whoever wants to do it will get $20; I have all the stuff already. You can either come to my apartment and do it, or I will come to your place. This job shouldn’t take anymore than an hour to do.

I’m pretty sure there must be a better way to get this done. Like by someone who isn’t a complete stranger. If, however, you’re committed to unfamiliar hands putting a razor to your skin, try this guy.

I was visiting my grandfather and he wanted to get rid of this old freezer. He used it for deer. He said it was working last time he used it, but he has since cut the chord. It is very heavy.

If you want your item to go from ugly to menacing, we have a pro-tip for you that this guy already knows – night photography.

It makes anything scary. Anything:

See? It’s a playhouse. One that looks like it’s inhabited by a play Blair Witch waiting to cut out the play tongues of small children and leave them for dead in the play wilderness.

I have an older Champion Motorhome, I think it’s around a ‘72. It needs some TLC, would make a great storage/camping unit at your river property or favorite hunting spot. You tow it, you can have it!

Hi, I’m your ride to the City of INAD. The seats are all waterlogged, so I think you’ll want to stand; hold on tight. And watch where you put your hands, there seems to be a feral cat problem. Fred got bit and he’s been acting a little strange since El Paso.

20 Gauge Steel Casket
Ivory interior
I know this is a weird posting.
But, I bought the casket, and had my husband viewed in it for 1 day.
Then decided to cremate him.
I paid over $1,900 for the casket
I am asking $1,500 OBO
I need to pay off the funeral bill and this is the only way I can.
If interested please call #

We’ve featured a casket before, but while it was described as “used,” I’m not sure that it had actually been occupied by a corpse, like this one. I think that you might have to knock more than 20% off the price of a formerly-corpse-inhabited casket, no matter how short the corpse-tenancy was. After all, this isn’t a 2007 Honda with a clean service record we’re talking about.

I wouldn’t want this thing smiling incessantly at me while I spent my Sunday afternoon on a Deadwood marathon, either.

Found by: Heather B on Bakersfield Craigslist

Selling a CHILD MANNEQUIN. Removable hand and arms.

Are you getting your recommended daily allowance of creepy? Let Little Jimmy help you. His bland, inexpressive smile and eyes will make you keenly aware of the absence of life in him, and send a little shiver down your spine at least a few times a day. Also good for putting a solid scare in you when you wake up in the middle of the night to walk to the bathroom!

You’re never alone with Little Jimmy. Never.

This is a deer foot ash tray. please call

Animals, man. Who the hell do those guys think they are? Animals need to be put in their place. And I’m no longer satisfied taking them down a peg with humiliatingly poor taxidermy. Which is why I made this ashtray, so I could grind my cigarettes out on a deer’s hoof. Take that, woodland jackass!

My next project is going to be a filing cabinet made out of alligator skin. But get this: I’m only going to use it to file totally useless papers. POW! In your face, swamp jerk!

FREE..THIS WAS A VO-TECH SCHOOL PROJECT……I LISTED IT THE OTHER DAY BUT NOW I HAVE PICTURE.

The “vocation” they teach at this Vo-Tech school is apparently animal abuse. But come on, you know it’s almost impossible to make a living out of dog torture. It’s just gonna have to stay a hobby – a Saturday distraction after a week spent repairing HVAC units. At least the “tech” classes came in handy . . .

I have a Mid 1970’s model Porta-Fridge for sale.

We’ve used it for the past 20 years as a beer fridge in the garage, but finally upgraded to something a little bigger.

The fridge is in perfect working order and has never needed freon. The middle temp setting keeps beer at about 33* F. The rust on the door is just rust on the paint, not the metal.

Inside dimensions are about 12 x 12 inches. Weight is about 35-40 lbs.

Call or email if interested.

Because some days, instead of dealing with the whole body, you just want to head over to the ol’ victim storage space and quickly access a few pre-removed parts. Me? I keep a jar of eyes just behind a bag full of liver trimmings.

Found by: Ben on Richmond Craigslist

“Or. . .”

_{*apologies to non-U.S. and non-news program watching folks. You can use the voice of James Earl Jones. Different effect entirely, but maybe it will work for you.}

“Wear the monkey flip-flops?”

Found by: Alix on Raleigh Craigslist

Rabbit tunnel….has parrots on it could be a ferret tunnel or other animal also…good condition…barely used…got it when my kitten was a few weeks and he loved it now hes to big for it
flip flops ….missing one monkey and need to be cleaned…if you take the other monkey off it should be fine. size 5?
3 pairs of kids socks and a pair of kids footies
FREE to first responder.
pick up only

The answer to both, of course, is “WRONG!”