free time machine! may or may not work…
you pick up
It will take you to a grim future, in which you are burdened by rusty, inefficient appliances.
Unless you use it to go back in time, to before your fateful decision (“hey, I could use a beer fridge!”) was made. Good luck, McFly.
Found On: Bay Area
“17 years old. NO animals have urinated on it.”
“Let’s see, what’s the nicest thing I can say about this couch? What’s my angle, my selling point? How do I convince someone they need this? ‘It has a pleasant scent’? No, that would be a lie. ‘It’s attractive in a flophouse-chic way’? No, there’s really no such thing, they’d see right through that. ‘It’s not stuffed with gunpowder’? Close, but come on, neither are my giveaway-competitors’ couches. I need something to distinguish this one from others. I know . . .”
older boat needs work as far as i know there are no leaks but hasent been in the water for many years. no motor or trailer
Formerly a lifeboat attached to the Flying Dutchman. A zombie, really, just in boat form.
Good natural camouflage for sneaking up on the folks on the other side of the lake. Maybe you can revive the legend of the Ghost of Old Elk Lake. Scaring the neighbors is an underrated hobby.
here are the pictures i can cook for you and your crew and supply beverages
take it down and haul it away
Yeah, I’m happy to do whatever it takes. Drinks, food, hell, maybe even a mani-pedi or four.
You know, anything short of actually paying you for your work.
Plastic kennel, no door/gate. (There is tape on the vents on sides to keep rain out.)
Along with the homemade dog-torture tool pictured on top, this “kennel”was used on the never-aired pilot episode of the most disturbing dog training show ever produced. Like the “Dog Whisperer,” but by and for sociopaths.
The footage is now in the hands of the Atlanta District Attorney, who is deciding what charges to bring. This ad has been posted by the guy who runs the Atlanta PD Evidence Room. He just can’t bear to look at it anymore. Sure, losing this key piece of evidence may hurt the chances for a conviction, but he has his emotional well-being to consider.
Found by: Shelly on Seattle Craigslist
This post is pending for pickup.
Just checked. It’s still “pending for pickup.” I have a feeling that will be “pending” for a while. Have I ever told you that I am an NFL quarterback? Well, you know, pending draft, contract, and learning how to throw a ball.
1980 Love Mate Travel Trailer
That sounds like something pleasant. Fun, even. “Love Mate.” I think they may have mislabeled this particular unit. “Partner in Despair” sounds more accurate.
1 bedroom, 1 bath, aluminum siding, dual axles, missing one wheel, gas furnace, has tipout in frontroom lived in til last year.
Picture the person able/willing to live in this – presuming this looked more or less the same last year as it does today. I ask a simple question – do you want to meet this person in an isolated field?
I have owned the trailer for 20yrs. Bought from my sister’s father in law. He has since died a couple of years ago and title can’t be found.
That is a very interesting story. I’m not sure why you told it, but I suppose the fact that you have family members does make you – a person willing to live in this trailer – seem a little less frightening.
IT IS MISSING A WHEEL.
Thanks again, got it.
In my opinion it is not in condition to be lived in. It has been sitting a year with no heat. Roof in frontroom partial crushed from snow this winter.
And this coming from someone who lived in it until very recently. Even by his standards, this thing is a disaster. Or is it . . . ?
The county kicked me out because(someone called them) you cannot legally live in recreational vehicle.
That tells us a bit more about him, doesn’t it? This is not in livable condition, but he would have remained in it, had it not been for some goddamned snitch. I’m beginning to get a distinct Ted Kaczynski vibe from our donor. I no longer want only to avoid him, I want to avoid entering the trailer. I suspect it contains booby traps he’s long since forgotten. “Oh yeah, don’t open tha . . . *kablamo*!!1!”
It appears to be safe enough to tow but I’m no expert, just a computer technician.
“Computer technician?” Let me guess. This is the last computer you were well-versed in. Or was it this:
Do they make computers out of rust and misery? Those seem like the things you might have technical skills in.
If you still interested, send email Wil
I think I’m very interested. But more in hearing the hair-raising tales Wil could tell than in the trailer.
Found On: Tuscan Craigslist
in the alley by the dumpster is a utility shelf made of wood for free. Someone left it there – please dont inquire – just come and get it.
For storing your least valuable possessions – the ones you’re openly hostile towards. “Here you go, fourth-place trophy, 2008 Fourth of July Chili Cook-Off. Enjoy your new home [mumbles obscenities].”
Better luck tomorrow.
Found On: Wheeling Craigslist
First come first serve for a 4″ deep swimming pool
Clearly not suitable for swimming. Or lounging about comfortably. Or enjoying in any other standard-issue pool way, but there has to be some use for this thing.
- Maybe the kids could play “Swamp Monster” in it. Just don’t let them go in without safety gear. And inoculations.
- 100 million mosquito larvae could be harvested from it – today.
- The local constabulary could use it to practice dragging the lake for bodies.
- Evidence could be hidden in it – no one would willingly search its depths.
- And I suppose placing it in your backyard might also convince people you’re mentally ill, which could get you out of any pending contractual or family obligations, or even criminal liability for that thing you did a few months ago. You know what I’m talking about.
Found On: Bay Area Craigslist
“FREE TO A GOOD HOME!!!! “
The only possible use for this would be playing the role of the field office in Blair Witch 3: The Blair Witch Construction Project. In this installment, the Blair Witch continues to terrorize the Maryland wilderness, this time through the erection of depressing subdivisions.
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