Item not as described.

Found On: Seattle Craigslist

I have an older Champion Motorhome, I think it’s around a ‘72. It needs some TLC, would make a great storage/camping unit at your river property or favorite hunting spot. You tow it, you can have it!

Hi, I’m your ride to the City of INAD. The seats are all waterlogged, so I think you’ll want to stand; hold on tight. And watch where you put your hands, there seems to be a feral cat problem. Fred got bit and he’s been acting a little strange since El Paso.

Stephen as-is creepy, dirty, disturbing, manual labor, old, ugly

Found On: Richmond Craigslist By: Mountain Mama

TELL TIME TO PICK UP,I INCLUDE PIC.they are strong and no holes you can paint them,is a pair.i got them from a doctors office 2 years ago.they have dust,on tjhem but the material is ok,.

I think I may have once had an appointment with this doctor. I was 17, and needed a case of Natural Ice and a bottle of peppermint schnapps. He delivered at his basement apartment and charged me $50. I said “fifty dollars? That’s like twenty bucks worth.” He told me, “medicine’s expensive. Call it a co-pay.” I wasn’t in a position to argue, which kind of prepared me for the world of healthcare.

Stephen as-is as-is, bad grammar, dirty, furniture, healthcare, old

Found by: Julie on Cincinnati Craiglist

As long as the ad is running – it is still AVAILABLE
We’re in Burlington ky, make sure you want to come here before you ask for it. This rug was stored in a shed with a leaky roof. There are water stains all over the back or the rug, but they do not show on the front.

You forgot to mention the mildew. A rug with water stains from a leaky-roofed shed in Kentucky is also mildewed. And moldy. It’s a law of nature. Nature’s kinda gross.

But the rug still could use a nice scrub or cleaning to soften it back up and remove some of the “sticky feel” it has.

Thank you for mentioning the “sticky feel.” It’s almost spurring me to drive to Burlington, KY.

The top of the rug is a medium to dark shade of purple.

. . . But it’s hard to be sure with the mold and staining.

Measures 7 feet and 10 inches long and is 5 feet wide.

Also hard to be sure, as the rug is alive. It expands and contracts depending on the weather that day, and its mood. It’s a mood rug. Its mood is usually bad.

Let me know when you want to come and get it – Today is best, but could also do friday .

Any later and it will take over the shed once and for all, barring the door and wheezing “get out” when we try to enter.

Rug tends to look lighter color when in artificail light…but, I have it outside on the grass in the bright sunlight right now and it looks almost dark grey or black. This morning when i had it in the house with just the early morning sunlight for lighting it looked most like the last photo. (It must be an amazing , color-changing rug ! ~ just kidding)

It all depends on which mold cultures are winning at the time.

In the photos, the second photo probably shows the most accurate color in indoor lighting.

Right at this moment, anyhow. The mold battle rages on.

..This corner is frayed.

Which will be the least of your problems.

Stephen classy dirty, gross, supernatural

Found On: Seattle Craigslist

Free grill. This does not include the propane tank. You must come and pick it up. Besides the rust and the blemishes the grill works fine.

Before trying to unload something, people really need to address their reasons for wanting to rid themselves of it. If the reason is: “I am a human being. I have some shred of self-respect. I can no longer accept having this item within one-hundred yards of me,” they should not try to give it away. Why? Because it would be unseemly and depressing to presume there are people out there without that same self-respect. Giving away this grill is like giving away a 55-gallon-drum with an inch of diesel covering the bottom. Sure, it could keep some homeless folks warm for a bit, but do you really want to be a part of that?

Stephen as-is depressing, dirty, rusty

I’m about to shout at you in the voice of John McLaughlin.* Now that you recognize my voice, “Which would you rather? Set up an au-pair-adise with Dad?”

Found by: Ben on Richmond Craigslist

“Or. . .”

_{*apologies to non-U.S. and non-news program watching folks. You can use the voice of James Earl Jones. Different effect entirely, but maybe it will work for you.}

Read more…

Stephen classy creepy, dirty, disturbing

Found by: Lesley on Kansas City Craigslist

FOAM BLOCKS-FREE TO ANY HOME! GOOD FOR TARGET PRACTICE, PLAY FORTS, DOCKS, SCULPTING. USE YOUR IMAGINATION! TAKE AS MANY AS YOU WANT, TAKE THEM ALL! ATTACHED ARE PICS, THEY USED TO BE STACKED UNITL MY GRANDSONS HAD A BLAST MAKING FORTS & CLIMBING ON THEM. CAN BE CLEANED WITH A SOFT BRISTLE BRUSH.

Foam? Or delicious blue cheese? Same mold, anyhow. When your kids play with these, they’ll be plenty sick for a few days, but they’ll develop superhero-like immunity forever after. Just in time for the swine flu pandemic!

Stephen classy dirty, suggested uses, ugly, unsanitary

Found by: Lisa on Austin Craigslist

Free Hard Pond Liner Please email

I have no idea what happened to this pond liner to turn it into the monstrosity it has become, but past is prologue; I only know its future.

Instead of koi, these will swim its waters:

Instead of lily pads, you get an algae bloom:

And instead of turtles like this little friend lolling about:

you get:

Enjoy!

Stephen classy depressing, dirty, ugly

Found On: Indianapolis Craigslist By: Laura H

free corner couch that was part of like an 1800$ couch, house to small for it left on front pouch and dogs kinda got it all dirty, but still in fair shape. i do have this add up for the couch on another posting, just as the first one the matieral is stain resistant velour and comes off very easily just dont want to mess with it n plus dont have room

I saw this and thought – “Just think of the science fair project I could have! This wedge of ick must contain entire germ civilizations! I’ll bet a replacement for penicillin could be harvested from cultures somewhere on this chair – that crevice between the two cushions looks like the sweet spot. College scholarship, here I come!”

Sadly, I checked the rules for the 2009 Central Indiana Science & Engineering Fair. It’s a no go:

“The following list of prohibited items cannot be part of any display at the Regional Science Fair:

-Water or other liquids, even in a sealed container.
-Living or formerly living materials including:

Plants, animals, or microbes (bacteria, molds, yeasts, or algae).
Spoiled food or other decomposing organic matter.
Microbial cultures.
Soil or waste samples.
Preserved plant or animal material including: dried plant material and taxidermy specimens or parts.
Human or animal parts (exceptions: hair, teeth, nails, bones, histological sections, and wet-mount tissue slides)
Human or animal food

-Sharp items
-Flames or highly flammable materials
-Tanks with any substances under pressure
-Batteries with open-top cells
-Poisons, drugs, or controlled substances
-Dry ice or other sublimating solids
-Moving parts with unprotected belts and/or pulleys
-Class III and IV lasers
-Other items which in the judgment of the Safety Committee of the Regional Science Fair pose a threat to the health of safety of participants, judges, or spectators”

So I guess my competition dreams are off the table, but maybe I can come up with something involving a Class I or II laser. Or fingernails.

In other news:”stain resistant”?

Nit Picker as-is couch, dirty, furniture, missing pieces, unsanitary

Found On: Chambana Craigslist By: Jaime S

My grandmother has an old recliner and some old bed mattresses to give away in her garage.
All have been sitting there for several years and are dusty.

I look at these grim, darkness-illuminated-by-flash, crime-scene-ish photos, and I think of every horror film I’ve ever seen.

But I think, particularly, of the scene in David Fincher’s “Se7en” when the apparently dead person laying on the bed suddenly issues a thin, inhuman cough, and it becomes even more terrifying that the victim is alive. You’d be less scared by death than by a life so very completely ruined.

I’ll tell you what, I’m not sure that’s the frame of mind you want to inspire when you’re trying to unload your dirty old furniture. But I never did take a marketing class.

Nit Picker Spooky dirty, frightening, furniture, old

Found On: Fort Collins Craigslist By: Dwight M

Free twin matress and box springs… yes it is used, yes it has stains but if you are in need it will due.

Mattress, murder scene, whatever.

It’s too bad this poster couldn’t have held out until late October. Haunted house proprietors would be all over this. As it is, the evidence is just going to sit out on the corner, and the jig is up.

Nit Picker Spooky dirty, dubious, is that blood, unsanitary, wtf