Item not as described.

Found On: Honolulu Craigslist

Across from Haiku Cannery, Bring muscle and trailer

Struggling to free itself from the tar pit, the mammoth found itself sucked further into the muck. Millenia later, its well-preserved remains are discovered. Bring muscle and trailer. And museum curator.

Stephen Spooky construction equipment, manual labor, old, rusty

Found On: Seattle Craigslist

I have an older Champion Motorhome, I think it’s around a ‘72. It needs some TLC, would make a great storage/camping unit at your river property or favorite hunting spot. You tow it, you can have it!

Hi, I’m your ride to the City of INAD. The seats are all waterlogged, so I think you’ll want to stand; hold on tight. And watch where you put your hands, there seems to be a feral cat problem. Fred got bit and he’s been acting a little strange since El Paso.

Stephen as-is creepy, dirty, disturbing, manual labor, old, ugly

Found On: Richmond Craigslist By: Mountain Mama

TELL TIME TO PICK UP,I INCLUDE PIC.they are strong and no holes you can paint them,is a pair.i got them from a doctors office 2 years ago.they have dust,on tjhem but the material is ok,.

I think I may have once had an appointment with this doctor. I was 17, and needed a case of Natural Ice and a bottle of peppermint schnapps. He delivered at his basement apartment and charged me $50. I said “fifty dollars? That’s like twenty bucks worth.” He told me, “medicine’s expensive. Call it a co-pay.” I wasn’t in a position to argue, which kind of prepared me for the world of healthcare.

Stephen as-is as-is, bad grammar, dirty, furniture, healthcare, old

Found On: Bay Area

“17 years old. NO animals have urinated on it.”

“Let’s see, what’s the nicest thing I can say about this couch? What’s my angle, my selling point? How do I convince someone they need this? ‘It has a pleasant scent’? No, that would be a lie. ‘It’s attractive in a flophouse-chic way’? No, there’s really no such thing, they’d see right through that. ‘It’s not stuffed with gunpowder’? Close, but come on, neither are my giveaway-competitors’ couches. I need something to distinguish this one from others. I know . . .”

Stephen as-is black couch, dilapidated, old, urine free

Found On: Baltimore Craigslist

By: Brad & Christine

Ive never sat on them. They were left by my former roommate. Im moving and will not be taking these with me. Maybe they could be of use to you. You haul away

Some days, I think the free classifieds are just an enormous experiment in measuring our collective mental health. When people respond to posts like this, a notification is sent to Forest Laboratories, and the Celexa factory runs an overtime shift. “Yep, they’re still just barely hanging on out there.”

Of course, if you inquire about this next one, the nearby pharmacies know they need to make sure they’re stocked up on Thorazine. Because you’re more than a little crazy, aren’t you?

Found On: Las Vegas Craigslist

our dog chewed up the top of this couch, other than that it’s still a pretty good couch. it also has a fold out bed that’s still in good condition. if you want it, just come and grab it anytime, there’s no cost. it could also make for a good bonfire or chew toy for your dogs.

Stephen as-is as-is, broken, busted, couch, furniture, old, symptoms, ugly

In all this talk of “the public option” versus “non-profit co-ops,” “death panels” and “windfall profits,” something has been forgotten. Who in Congress will champion free classifieds as the way to get us out of our healthcare crisis?

I have health problems that would shock a hypertense, anemic 92-year-old, but I’m not worried. All my health needs are met by things I find for free. Sure, I have to worry about things like contamination, dangerous product recalls, and the possibility that I may not have exactly the right medical device for the job, but what I lack in quality, I make up for in quantity. Healthcare policy? Stop bellyaching, and start foraging! This is a season for action! We bring you “The INAD Plan.”

I occasionally have neck problems:

Spotted by: akyle11 in Cincinnati

Whatever this is on this guys head.

It’s a little embarrassing, but yeah, I need these:

Found On: Bellingham Craigslist By: Rebecca R

18 Hollister brand ileostomy pouches. Hollister #18204, New Image Drainable Mini-Pouch with Clamp, beige, 2 3/4″ (70 mm).

And these:

Found by: Carla on Austin Craigslist

Those who use urological supplies such as urinary catheters, foleys and legbags! Tired of paying out of pocket? Call me! There is a way to get your supplies for free. Located in Round Rock

Some days, after a few more cigarettes than I’m used to, when the emphysema acts up, I’ll break this out:

Found On: Atlanta Craigslist By:Elizabeth K

Free Devilbiss Oxygen Concentrator, does not work, perhaps can be used for spare parts.

I’ve been having a little trouble getting up the stairs lately, so I’m hoping I can get this working:

Found On: Salt Lake City Craigslist By: Anonymous

My father recently passed away and we want to get this elevator out of the house. Free to anyone who can remove it safely and without damage to the home. We also have elevator parts that I will post in another ad.

And if all else fails, well:

Found by: Andrea on Mansfield Craigslist

Up for sale is a used coffin. It is in very good condition with no dents. There is some surface rust and it will need new hinges. There is no interior as well. Cash only, no trades. Will not hold for anyone. The first person to come with cash gets it. The uses for this are unlimited such as, put in the back of your pick up and drive it around, make a dining room table, phone booth, neat motorcycle trailer and the list goes on….

Wait, they want to get paid for the coffin? I’m going to have to find a way to live forever. Maybe someone has done some studies.

Stephen Some Assembly Required busted, depressing, disturbing, do not want, healthcare, medical supplies, old

Found On: Craigslist By: Anonymous

mens zip off pants -navy- just the lower leg part. see photo. Or perhaps they are called outdoor pants or convertible pants. They are in good shape, they just have dust on them. I don’t know what size these go to, but most likely 32 long.

It was 102 in Seattle today, and I’m betting that will never change. I’m all shorts, all the time, baby! Besides, I want everyone to be able to see my new tattoo. Pant legs are for people without something beautiful to share.

Nit Picker classy clothing, dusty, missing pieces, mysterious, old

Found On: Spokane Craigslist By: Melissa B

FREE! 10′ x 42′ railroad car. U-Haul. This was formerly a Burlington Northern refrigerator car. There is no refrigeration unit. Very heavy gauge steel top and sides, with wood floor, and hinged doors on each side. There are no holes or leaks in the top, except where a hole has been cut for a wood stove pipe. The floor seems to be solid. All wheels and under-carriage have been removed, and it sits stationary on the ground. It has been used for a shop, storage unit and for weaning young beef calves, but the potential uses for it are unlimited. As you can see from the photos, it needs paint and TLC, but will make a very sturdy and inexpensive out-building. I don’t need it, and my wife thinks that it is ugly and wants it gone. Her wish is my command.
It is very large and heavy. I have no idea how much it weighs. Many tons. It will require a large low-boy equipment trailer, a truck capable of pulling it, and a piece of equipment capable of tipping it onto the trailer.

Eventually, your victim storage space fills up.

And if I know you, you’re too classy to go the shallow grave route. You’re gonna need to go get this.

Nit Picker Spooky creepy, dubious, manual labor, no thx, old, ugly

Found On: Salt Lake City Craigslist By: Melissa B

I have a portable dishwasher that just stopped working in mid-cycle.
It’s old.
It looks terrible. A screw broke off and the front panel is all bent up, you can see my gorilla tape job in the photos.
The welding on the bottom left portion of the inside broke.
When I bought it (used) we had an appliance tech come look at it when it did the same thing. He ‘hotwired’ a switch to work. That may be the problem. It may not be the problem.
I don’t know. I took it apart to try and figure it out, and it was so melted and gross, I just threw all the parts into the washing trays and moved the unit to storage and purchased another dishwasher.
I just want this gone.
I’d rather give it to someone that will try to fix it (lot of work!) than throw it out

I applaud the candor. There is nothing right with this diswasher. Every possible thing is wrong. I expected the last sentence to be “if you’re clinically insane, you might want this.” Or maybe: “It is valuable primarily as a door-blocker – you know, to keep out the bad guys, or the cops, when they try to get in. You need something incredibly heavy to keep them out.” Or perhaps: “dropped from even a low height, this would kill your enemies.” You know, we do tend to devalue things here, but there’s always some practical use for a freecycled item. Too bad it often involves human suffering.

Nit Picker as-is appliance, broken, gross, honest, missing pieces, old

Found On: South Jersey Craigslist By: Bill C

Early’ 80’s IBM laptop.Power issues.Free

“Power issues.” That’s it though, this thing is awesome in all other respects. Highly non-obsolete.

Welcome to the late 20th Century. You’ll also need this:

and this:

You’re stylin’ now. Or is it “fly?” I don’t know, but I’ll bet you can get the 411 from these guys:

You’ll have to reach them with phone calls and letters, though. This computer doesn’t have teh interwebs. It may not even be able to run Pong.

Nit Picker as-is computer, electronic, old, outdated