Found by: Joanne on San Antonio Craigslist
DONT NEED THIS DECORATION ANY MORE CLEANING OUT MY GARAGE DUE TO BRUSH THIS WEEK FOUND THIS IN MY GARAGE . GREAT FOR GIFT FOR SOMEONE.
I know, you think of Christianity as a world-dominating religion, with adherents all over the world. It shouldn’t have to cheapen itself by “updating” its founding stories. Well, you don’t stay the world’s biggest religion unless you keep current. Some focus groups were convened, and it looks like the kids these days relate better to the Ark as a stunt biplane than an old wooden boat. So you make adjustments. Same basic deal, just with wings, dancing polar bears, and crouching tigers.
The Vatican is also considering a few other little changes: putting the Jonas Brothers in the belly of the whale, and making slight modifications to Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” at the Santa Maria delle Grazie, so that Jesus looks a bit more like Zac Efron. Some of the more progressive clerics want Megan Fox painted in the background, too, but that’s only cubits away from ordaining women priests, so don’t count on it.
Stephen voting-page planes, polar bears, religion, supernatural
Found On: Atlanta Craigslist
I have a few King James bibles to give away for free. I don’t believe in that stuff anymore, so if you know of someone who can use these, you’re welcome to them. If they aren’t gone by Sunday, they’re going to the recycling bin in the sky.
It’s sad to see someone lose her faith, but the picture tells the story. The ongoing recession of ’08 is bad, but it’s not the only downturn the country has faced in the past decade. When the great Beanie Baby Crash of ’99 came along, hitting collectors like a ton of stuffed toy bricks, people like this poster lost their shirts. Those bears above the bibles? There was a time in ’98 when they were worth over a thousand bucks apiece. Retirement was planned. A modest one, to be sure – to a creekfront home in North Dakota – but it was a future, all the same.
All good things end, all bubbles burst, and the bears? Well, their stock plunged like . . . well, like pretty much every stock did just recently. The kids were even allowed to play with them.
We spoke to her: “Eventually, the deposit on the cabin was lost, and my faith went with it. Sure, bad things happen to good people, but when it gets this bad, well, what do you expect? If my green bear won’t even bring 50 cents at a yard sale, you’re not convincing me there’s a God.”
Nit Picker Uncategorized books, religion, that stuff
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