Item not as described.

Found On: Honolulu Craigslist

Across from Haiku Cannery, Bring muscle and trailer

Struggling to free itself from the tar pit, the mammoth found itself sucked further into the muck. Millenia later, its well-preserved remains are discovered. Bring muscle and trailer. And museum curator.

Stephen Spooky construction equipment, manual labor, old, rusty

Found by: Chris on Joplin Craigslist

free time machine! may or may not work…

you pick up

It will take you to a grim future, in which you are burdened by rusty, inefficient appliances.

Unless you use it to go back in time, to before your fateful decision (“hey, I could use a beer fridge!”) was made. Good luck, McFly.

Stephen as-is dilapidated, rusty, suggested uses

Found On: Seattle Craigslist

Free grill. This does not include the propane tank. You must come and pick it up. Besides the rust and the blemishes the grill works fine.

Before trying to unload something, people really need to address their reasons for wanting to rid themselves of it. If the reason is: “I am a human being. I have some shred of self-respect. I can no longer accept having this item within one-hundred yards of me,” they should not try to give it away. Why? Because it would be unseemly and depressing to presume there are people out there without that same self-respect. Giving away this grill is like giving away a 55-gallon-drum with an inch of diesel covering the bottom. Sure, it could keep some homeless folks warm for a bit, but do you really want to be a part of that?

Stephen as-is depressing, dirty, rusty

Found On: San Diego Craigslist By: Kay G

I haye the remanies of a jeep CJ5 body and chassis and windshield, no drivetrain parts at all. what is left is straight and use able ,no title , must must take all.

I look at this and see only a cattle skeleton, bleached by the sun after decades in the desert. It’s astonishing what those coyotes can do to a carcass.

Stephen Some Assembly Required jeep, rusty, useless

Found by: Steve Y on Minneapolis Cragislist

I have a Mid 1970’s model Porta-Fridge for sale.

We’ve used it for the past 20 years as a beer fridge in the garage, but finally upgraded to something a little bigger.

The fridge is in perfect working order and has never needed freon. The middle temp setting keeps beer at about 33* F. The rust on the door is just rust on the paint, not the metal.

Inside dimensions are about 12 x 12 inches. Weight is about 35-40 lbs.

Call or email if interested.

Because some days, instead of dealing with the whole body, you just want to head over to the ol’ victim storage space and quickly access a few pre-removed parts. Me? I keep a jar of eyes just behind a bag full of liver trimmings.

Stephen Spooky creepy, rusty

Found by: Catherine on Seattle Craigslist

This trailer looks worse than it really is.

Or exactly as bad. What would you be willing to trust to the care of this trailer? OK, fine, the other things you find on free classifieds.

The tires still spin smoothly

Tires spinning smoothly sounds like something. It is nothing.

and the metal body is not corroded through.

Thank heavens for small favors. Not through, just almost through.

It is free to a good home. EDIT: Got a huge response,

From that species of crazy person who responds to every effing free ad thinking “OMG, it’s free!” Then wakes up the next day and realizes, “oh, geez, where the hell am I gonna keep it? Why do I keep responding to these things?”

so this may drop a few who are interested. The trailer is not towable because both tires are flat, no electrical, unsure if the hitch even works and there is NO TITLE. Trailer was on the property when we purchased the land. If you are still interested, please reply again and leave a phone number. Jerry.

So really, this is just a piece of unwanted rust that you’re desperate to get off your property.

But I’m thinking about it.

I have both fenders.

Sold.

Stephen as-is busted, rusty

Found by: Eva on Asheville Craigslist

I bought this thing about two years ago. I used it for two seasons and it cut great until it ran out of gas and after I filled the tank up it wouldn’t turn over anymore.

Well, now that I know that fuel will break this, it sounds perfect. Just the mower for me. If the wind blows, does it catch fire? Does sunshine make it cry?

I pulled it up to my shed and it has been sitting there ever since.

Pouting, no doubt, this sounds like one wimpy mower.

This thing is not locked up as I can turn the cylinder over with a wrench on the bottom of the pulley thingy. I don’t have time to work on this and try to get it running again.

Nor the desire, I suspect. You want a real mower, one that drinks gas like bourbon and a beer chaser, then says “let’s get back to work. Those blades won’t cut themselves – my blades will!”

The back wheels will not turn unless the engine is running.

So temperamental: “No, I won’t. No! No! No! Waahhh!”

It was like that when I bought it.

Well, then you have no one to blame but yourself, you knew what you were getting yourself into.

But when the engine was running this thing would go anywhere I needed it to.

Which wasn’t very far if you didn’t refuel it in two years. Maybe it’s your fault it’s such a delicate flower.

So now that it no longer runs its a bitch to move around.

And listen to.

So I am selling it to the best offer. Make me an offer and maybe you can take it home and fix it.

I offer you the opportunity to pay me $50 plus delivery.

This is pickup only,

Says you. You have my offer.

I will help you load it but after that I don’t even want to know this thing exists.

Salesmanship! Kudos.

If you have deep pockets I may be interested in delivering it to you but I don’t want to.

Maybe you taught this mower to whine.

Stephen Some Assembly Required broken, mower, rusty, whiny

Found by: Shelly on Seattle Craigslist

This post is pending for pickup.

Just checked. It’s still “pending for pickup.” I have a feeling that will be “pending” for a while. Have I ever told you that I am an NFL quarterback? Well, you know, pending draft, contract, and learning how to throw a ball.

1980 Love Mate Travel Trailer

That sounds like something pleasant. Fun, even. “Love Mate.” I think they may have mislabeled this particular unit. “Partner in Despair” sounds more accurate.

1 bedroom, 1 bath, aluminum siding, dual axles, missing one wheel, gas furnace, has tipout in frontroom lived in til last year.

Picture the person able/willing to live in this – presuming this looked more or less the same last year as it does today. I ask a simple question – do you want to meet this person in an isolated field?

I have owned the trailer for 20yrs. Bought from my sister’s father in law. He has since died a couple of years ago and title can’t be found.

That is a very interesting story. I’m not sure why you told it, but I suppose the fact that you have family members does make you – a person willing to live in this trailer – seem a little less frightening.

IT IS MISSING A WHEEL.

Thanks again, got it.

In my opinion it is not in condition to be lived in. It has been sitting a year with no heat. Roof in frontroom partial crushed from snow this winter.

And this coming from someone who lived in it until very recently. Even by his standards, this thing is a disaster. Or is it . . . ?

The county kicked me out because(someone called them) you cannot legally live in recreational vehicle.

That tells us a bit more about him, doesn’t it? This is not in livable condition, but he would have remained in it, had it not been for some goddamned snitch. I’m beginning to get a distinct Ted Kaczynski vibe from our donor. I no longer want only to avoid him, I want to avoid entering the trailer. I suspect it contains booby traps he’s long since forgotten. “Oh yeah, don’t open tha . . . *kablamo*!!1!”

It appears to be safe enough to tow but I’m no expert, just a computer technician.

“Computer technician?” Let me guess. This is the last computer you were well-versed in. Or was it this:

Do they make computers out of rust and misery? Those seem like the things you might have technical skills in.

If you still interested, send email Wil

I think I’m very interested. But more in hearing the hair-raising tales Wil could tell than in the trailer.

Stephen as-is dilapidated, disturbing, rusty, trailer, unsafe, wrecked

Found On: Seattle Craigslist

I have a propane tank out of a truck. please e-mail if want

Propane tank, or former propane tank? Refilling this thing might be interpreted as an act of violence. It would certainly tip the balance of terror in your neighborhood – “give her a wide berth, that thing could go off any time.” Presuming you don’t want the kind of responsibility that comes with owning a ticking time bomb, some other uses might be more appropriate. It appears that this has already been serving as a moss farm, so maybe that’s it. Do you need some rust? There’s plenty of that to harvest, too. Ultimately, though, I’m seeing “battering ram” as the highest and best purpose here. You can lend it to the police for dramatic warrantless entries.

Nit Picker as-is busted, rusty, unsafe

Found On: Anchorage Craigslist

DONT CALL IF YOU CANT READ, AND THINK I’M STUPID ENOUGH TO GIVE AWAY A NICE RUNNING 4X4 PICKUP! I’M TIRED OF EXPAINING THIS TO RETARDS. READ THE BELOW CAREFULLY BEFORE CALLING. i have this pickup and it was a great truck. runs right now and drives fine. i am parting it out for extra parts for my other 3/4 ton. im taking the axels, motor and trany. most of the interior is gone. the frame is staight and true. im leaving the 203 t-case and both driveshafts. the body is straight except for quite a bit of rust. front clip is good. if u need a nice straight 4×4 frame for ur project this is the one. i will drive it from my back yard to my driveway, then take my parts so its easy for a flatbed to get to it. must take the whole truck! if ur looking for parts forget about it unless ur gonna pay me.

Nit Picker voting-page Add new tag, broken, old, rusty, ugly