Old Stuffed Frog – $10
Old Stuffed Frog, I beleave it is a real frog that was stuffed or petrified. It is standing on a wooden piece and looks like it is playing a harp. We are moving and it is fragile so we are selling it. We would like $10.00 for it.
Renowned artisan/craftsman Ianno receives a visit to his workshop from long-time patron, the eccentric billionaire, Mr. Ellison. The following exchange occurs:
Mr. Ellison (imagine the voice of Will Ferrell imitating James Lipton): “Ianno, I have a project for you. There is a new objet d’art percolating in my imagination, and I would like you to bring it to life. You and I are about to embark on another of our many creative journeys.”
Ianno (imagine the voice of Christopher Walken as “The Continental”): “Yes, sir, Mr. Ellison, I would be honored to again create an item spawned from the magical recesses of your unique unconscious. The drink coasters made from cross-sections of the leg of a long-frozen baby Mammoth? Inspired, sir! The headphones, featuring the severed faces of two Howler monkeys, frozen in perpetual alarm? Shocking, but beautiful. You remember what Damien Hirst had to say about them? Yes, I do as well. Certainly, ‘declasse’ was the word he used, but envy was the tone that infused it. What is your latest stroke of genius?”
“Ianno, this one, it is simple. I think your capable hands will fabricate it in days, but it must be just right. I want you to use your powers of sculpture and taxidermy to create the following: a swollen toad, standing erect, taking a piss on a harp. That is not beyond your ken, is it?”
“Sir, it will be a challenge, particularly dealing with the amphibious skin, but it can, nay, it must be done. A swollen toad, standing erect, taking a piss on a harp? How delightfully preposterous! You have outdone yourself!”
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