Item not as described.

Found On: Bay Area

“The rocking chair and settee are very very old.”

Very, very old. Like, Civil War old. In fact, I’m pretty sure this furniture fought in the Civil War. I don’t know where that hole could have come from other than the Battle of Gettysburg.

Jessica as-is Add new tag, broken, furniture, useless, wrecked

Found by: Bailee on Maine Craigslist

old camper whould make a good trailer if some one had the time come with the house i bought don’t wont it tires are flat don’t know the size if you won’t it come get it being a trailer with

Trailer? Trailer?! I just contacted an archaeologist friend of mine, an expert on Pompeii, but also familiar with the pre-colonial history of Maine. I showed him this picture and he informed me it would be professionally negligent to try to identify these ruins. He said they could be the foundation of an ancient shed, or perhaps pieces of a boat left over from when the area was underwater, thousands of years ago.

When I asked if it could be a trailer, he said “I don’t think the Penobscot Indians had trailers.”

Stephen as-is trailer, wrecked

It’s Labor Day here in the U.S. of A. The end of summer. Time for school to start, time to take the job seriously again (no more early departures on Fridays), and apparently, time to destroy the swimming pool.

“It’s been nice, summer, but so long as I have to look at the pool in the backyard, it will be hard to let you go. I need a ritual release. I need to mark the end of our relationship in a big, bold way. I need to kill the swimming pool.

Then try to see if someone will buy the remains.”

Found by: Anon on Kanas City Craigslist

I have a 18×33 swimming pool for sale. it has been sitting since 2007. The pump and all is still there. It needs a liner. I am asking $250obo.

Found by: Kam & Amy on Thunderbay Kijiji

Above ground pool, as is, needs some TLC and perhaps some duct tape.Good for parts.

_{p.s. – yeah, Thunder Bay is in Canada. I think they have Labo[u]r Day, today, too.}

Stephen Some Assembly Required holiday, missing pieces, pool, wrecked

Found by: Tim on Ebay

Faulty xbox 360, bargaiiiinnn quite possibly maybe

Faulty? Whaddya mean? Looks fine to me! In fact, it will add realism next time I play Halo 2 – as though the Covenant came by and totally torched it.

I like the post-apocalyptic vibe. But I guess that’s pretty obvious, since I live here:

Found by: Kacie R on Dallas Craigslist

Free Mobile Home AS IS NO TITLE! Burned in 3 rooms /smoke – heat damage. No axles! Need off property asap. Please email me if you have any questions. 16X76. Will give you $700.00 FIRM! ALL REMOVAL

Some people like Shabby Chic, some people like Mid-Century Modern. I’m more a fan of the “Disaster Declared” aesthetic. I just wish FEMA would stop bugging me.

Stephen Some Assembly Required burn survivor, disturbing, wrecked

Found by: Shelly on Seattle Craigslist

This post is pending for pickup.

Just checked. It’s still “pending for pickup.” I have a feeling that will be “pending” for a while. Have I ever told you that I am an NFL quarterback? Well, you know, pending draft, contract, and learning how to throw a ball.

1980 Love Mate Travel Trailer

That sounds like something pleasant. Fun, even. “Love Mate.” I think they may have mislabeled this particular unit. “Partner in Despair” sounds more accurate.

1 bedroom, 1 bath, aluminum siding, dual axles, missing one wheel, gas furnace, has tipout in frontroom lived in til last year.

Picture the person able/willing to live in this – presuming this looked more or less the same last year as it does today. I ask a simple question – do you want to meet this person in an isolated field?

I have owned the trailer for 20yrs. Bought from my sister’s father in law. He has since died a couple of years ago and title can’t be found.

That is a very interesting story. I’m not sure why you told it, but I suppose the fact that you have family members does make you – a person willing to live in this trailer – seem a little less frightening.

IT IS MISSING A WHEEL.

Thanks again, got it.

In my opinion it is not in condition to be lived in. It has been sitting a year with no heat. Roof in frontroom partial crushed from snow this winter.

And this coming from someone who lived in it until very recently. Even by his standards, this thing is a disaster. Or is it . . . ?

The county kicked me out because(someone called them) you cannot legally live in recreational vehicle.

That tells us a bit more about him, doesn’t it? This is not in livable condition, but he would have remained in it, had it not been for some goddamned snitch. I’m beginning to get a distinct Ted Kaczynski vibe from our donor. I no longer want only to avoid him, I want to avoid entering the trailer. I suspect it contains booby traps he’s long since forgotten. “Oh yeah, don’t open tha . . . *kablamo*!!1!”

It appears to be safe enough to tow but I’m no expert, just a computer technician.

“Computer technician?” Let me guess. This is the last computer you were well-versed in. Or was it this:

Do they make computers out of rust and misery? Those seem like the things you might have technical skills in.

If you still interested, send email Wil

I think I’m very interested. But more in hearing the hair-raising tales Wil could tell than in the trailer.

Stephen as-is dilapidated, disturbing, rusty, trailer, unsafe, wrecked

Found On: Craigslist By: Ryan E

Should buff out however if you aren’t the buffing type, probably best to bring a flatbed

There are people who believe in ghosts, gods, supernatural beings, etc. There are people who don’t.

Score one for the believers. There’s nothing that could cause this kind of destruction without the help of magic, right? Some mighty sin was committed, and this is retribution, courtesy of Shiva, Perses, or maybe Fred, the little-known Patron Saint of Letting You Have It.

Unless . . . meteor? That must be it. Meteor. What a relief. My whole worldview was about to be undermined.

But what about that untouched seat? Why didn’t the meteor crush the driver?

*considers possibility of divine intervention/worldview again askew*

Stephen Some Assembly Required just plain demolished, smited, wrecked

Found On: Duluth Craigslist

This is a really great stereo & record player in a console (hope I stated that right). Everything works great on it. The sound is… WOW!!!  The only “unsightly” area is the speaker covers in the front. Just needs a little TLC!

Wow, indeed. I wonder what kind of music was played on this stereo. It was obviously so horrible that the speakers tried desperately to escape. They almost made it out, too. Poor things.

Nit Picker as-is appliance, as-is, broken, wrecked

Found On: Bay Area Craigslist

The other half has been re-purposed as the tombstone for the dead surfer who last used it.

Perhaps you know another recently passed surfer you could honor with this half. Or maybe it would make a good prosthetic whale tongue?

Nit Picker as-is broken, busted, useless, wrecked